Friday, October 31, 2008

Worrypalooza in Anxiety Town

I’m a bit of a worrywart. It’s my own fault. I read the Gloom and Doom (aka, Business) section of the newspaper every day. I drink too much coffee. I don’t get enough rest. And, whenever I try to meditate or do yoga, I get bored and start worrying all over again.

Anxiety makes me feel better. It’s an ice-cold hug from an inconstant lover. It’s a little slice of control in my crazy world. It’s just…my way of doing things.

I spent much of yesterday worried sick. The least of my problems was that the iron might have been left on. If the iron was on, it was also probably face down on the rug. Meaning it was burning the rug. And then my entire sale rack wardrobe would go up in flames.

And now follow the bouncing ball, chain reaction freakout: If I don’t have clothes, I can’t go to work. And if I can’t go to work, I can’t pay off my student loan. Can the repo men take my college degree? And what if I can’t pay rent? Not that it matters, as I’d be living inside a burned-out hulk of an apartment with winter on the way.
Maybe I should become a survivalist. I could live in a shack and grow my own food. There’s the ticket. But then I wouldn’t have friends. Unless I could get my friends to come live in my shack, so we could be our own little commune. But then we would have to sell those stupid, “Stop Bitching…Start a Revolution” t-shirts. Then I would wonder what’s so revolutionary about 100% cotton, and if selling t-shirts is just a more commercial way of bitching. Then the universe would implode from the paradox, and we would all die horribly explosive deaths.

So what have I learned? Easy. No more cheese dip before bed.

In the comments, tell me what you worry about.


Anonymous said...

You know what's awful? I just worry without knowing what it's about. Even as I type this, I have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I get it a few times a week and it SUCKS!

vvk said...

What?!?! How can you blame the innocent cheese? Cheese can do no wrong.

Shannon said...

Thoughts - See, that's why I worry about my j-school degree getting repo'd. It gives the crazy some focus.

vvk - Except for spicy cheese right before bed...that'll keep you up!

Anonymous said...

You better worry. I hear when you can't pay your loans, they repo your brain!

Shannon said...

Thoughts - Thanks. With it being Halloween, I was already worried about zombies eating my brain. Now I have to worry about brain repo.

Ibid said...

I generally don't worry. I anticipate and avoid. If there's a problem I fix it unless it's not fixable.

But this morning I saw my bank account and realized that I'm down to the 3 month buffer that I require so that I can go paycheckless for awhile if necessary. And I'm getting my hot water tank replaced with a tankless water heater and my furnace needs replaced. I'd totally be worried about that if I wasn't blocking it out.

LiLu said...

Trade out that queso dip for a bottle, I mean glass, of red wine. Works every time.

Shannon said...

Ibid - Denial is a perfectly healthy defense mechanism.

LiLu - But I live alone, so if I started to drink by myself I'd worry that I was an alcoholic.

Anonymous said...

wait...shannon mentions she's worried about being able to pay her loans and you boohoo about being near your 3 month buffer?

really, ibid? really?

Ibid said...

Have I mentioned that I'm cripplingly dull?

Matt Scanlon said...

I worry about money constantly, and all of its daisychain of little worry children. (I know they say money can't buy happiness, but I'm thinking it can buy a little reprieve from anxiety.)

I also do I-Have-Thoughts' thing of worrying without even knowing what it's about, just a knot gnawing in my stomach. Ick.

Shannon said...

Thoughts/Ibid - I don't really pooh-pooh what people worry about, I'd rather react compassionately. Unless they're worried that their diamond shoes are too tight, then it's fair game for mockery.

Shannon said...

Matt - I think I would worry less about money if I could give up reading the Business section of the Post. But it's like crack.

HP said...

several times a week i go to bed worrying that my chronic insomnia will keep me up all night. of course the worrying then intensifies the insomnia so very often, I function on about 5 hours of sleep a night. Nothing helps.

Jiu Jitsu DC said...

Well the scary thought is losing your job and having to make a living selling those "Stop Bithing and Start a Revolution" T shirts.

Shannon said...

HP - Worrying about insomnia keeps you awake? That's almost...cute.

Jiu - I think the scarier thought is having to WEAR one of those shirts.

Tina said...

I'm worried about those damn visa's getting here before we are supposed to be on the plane!!!

Doug said...

Apparently we don't appreciate the iron manufacturers enough then....

With the creation of the "auto shut-off" mechanism, we owe them a huge debt of gratitude for saving us from all from a horrible death.

Shannon said...

Tina - Ugh, there's nothing worse than trusting the bureaucracy with your future.

Doug - You know, I have no idea if my iron would have auto's an old one.

lacochran said...

Read the comics first. And throw your iron away. Wrinkly is better than burny.

What I worry about: Will my possessed car develop even weirder mannerisms.

Anonymous said...

Well, you know, revolution is just a T-shirt away.

Lemmonex said...

I worry about dying in a bad outfit. Sadly, I am not kidding.

Shannon said...

Lacochran - Once the Post got rid of the hilarious Mary Worth, I stopped reading the comics.

Frecks - Consumerism is the revolution!

Lem - Bad outfit would be OK, but dying in laundry day panties would KILL me. Hrm. That sounded better in my head.

KassyK said...

I have OCD. What DON'T I worry about?

Oh wait I know what I worry about most...that my Xanax won't be refilled on time.

How's that for anxiety? JUST kidding. Sort of.


Victoria said...

i USED to worry that everyone else in the world thought those t-shirts were cool, and that I was the last person with a lick of sense, despising them with a passion.
Now I just worry about accidentally getting into a run-in with a cotton ball. I really hate them.

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