I generally don't respond to “stuff about me” tags, on the grounds that I’ve spent the last six years of DSJ incessantly prattling on about myself. And I’m really only so fascinating. Plus, tags kind of remind me of the pass-along survey from Sixteen Candles. ("Have you done it? Have you seen it? Have you touched it?")
However, considering y’all have sheer numbers in your favor, I may as well suck it up and give it a go.
1. I don’t watch television. Ever. Really. This isn’t a culture snob thing, I’m just too cheap for cable and don’t have bunny ears. I will occasionally Netflix a series on DVD, but that’s usually several years after airing. One thing I find astounding about human nature is how often people will ask if I watch a program, then, when I say I don’t watch any TV, they’ll keep talking about TV. Dear Humanity: I really and truly haven’t seen your favorite show. I’ve probably never even heard of it. Can we please talk about something, anything else?
2. I can’t operate lighters.
3. I am not a “phone person.” I answer the phone all day at work, and that’s plenty. I have friends I've known for over ten years who have never had more than a three-minute phone chat with me. I strongly prefer text messages and email.
4. I enjoy buying condoms. Moreover, I enjoy buying them in unusual configurations. One of my best was condoms, whipped cream, an issue of Cosmo, and a bag of Swedish fish. The candy is what makes it so dirty.
5. I keep Tarot cards in my bedside drawer, and I often find them to be insulting and less than helpful. Just the other day, the Five of Cups called me prissy and uptight. Jerk!
6. I have a really, really low tolerance for violent or gory movies. I turned off No Country for Old Men after fifteen minutes. I don't care how good it's supposed to be, I don't get any enjoyment from watching the bodies pile up. I thought Home Alone 2 was a bit over the top, too.
7. My uterus faces the wrong way. I found this out when my doctor took a look and said, “Hey! Cool! Check it out!”
I’m supposed to tag other people. But as the blogosphere is tag-heavy these days, I’ll just let this one die out with me.