My menagerie of pet peeves includes the skankification of Halloween. Sure, once upon a time, I paraded down Franklin Street tricked out as a dominatrix, but that was more funny than anything. Really. Try and keep a straight face while picturing me with a bustier and a whip.
I don't care if it puts me in "You kids, get off my lawn!" territory, or makes me the Princess of Prudity, but I'm sick to death of sexy nurses, sexy fairies, sexy French maids, sexy stewardesses, and sexy construction workers. To me, the average Halloween party looks like the opening scene of a very cheap and derivative porno film. Imagine it: boom mike hovering into the action, *boom-chicka-wow-wow* on the hi-fi, nubile, surgically enhanced barely-18s hanging out by the punch bowl.
Sexy Fairy: Ooooh no, my faerie wings have lost their sparkle!
French Maid: I'll shine them up for you!
Sexy Nurse: Don't worry, I'll make you feel better!
*cue tickling with a feather duster and frolicking among the thermometers*
Really. If you're going to trash it up for Halloween, show a little imagination. Give some sex appeal to those occupations that so desperately need it. Both men and women can get into the action (so to speak). Be a sexy colonic irrigation aesthetician. A sexy undertaker. A sexy fishmonger, a sexy laundromat manager, or even a sexy proctologist. Hell, even a fry cook can be saucy if you try hard enough.
If you're out on Halloween, look for me dressed as a sexy toll collector. Nothing spruces up a miniskirt and tube top like an orange vest and some rolls of quarters!
PS - Post based on tipsy girl talk at Liv's party.