Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Leave It To Beaver?

Disclaimer: If you are related to me in any way, or work with me, please do not read this post.

Alert reader/pop culture blogger Dana forwarded me the following website:

Betty Beauty

Manic Panic for the pubes, y’all. Mix up a batch for your snatch. The curtains can match the drapes. Give the ol' cat a new coat. There are even fun stencils and a super-special bridal kit. All you’ll need is a set of Shrinky-Dinks and some scrapbooks and you’ve got a fun little rainy day craft party.

Dana’s objection to this product was that women already spend enough time plucking, tweezing, and fussing, we don’t need to agonize over our beaverly beauty as well.

My objection is far simpler: I thought dye-worthy amounts of pubic hair had been outlawed by the February 1999 issue of Cosmopolitan, when full landscaping, landing strips, and other accoutrements of pre-pubescence became the norm.

So why create a product for something that has moved into extinction? Perhaps we should also create grooming kits for our pet Dodos while we’re at it.

100 comments:

Ibid said...

Really, if we're far enough along to notice the color we're beyond caring what color it is.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

haha - remember when Samantha (SATC) grew out her bush for Smith and then saw a gray hair and dyed it and it turned orange - haha

Yeah this is why waxing was invented - yeah I know TMI

Shannon said...

Ibid, thanks for keepin' it classy.

Zipcode...I remember that episode. Smith prefers a full bush, indeed.

Gilahi said...

Do they have a product just for touching up roots?

Skye said...

Ahhh! My eyes! MY EYES!

I should have paid attention to the disclaimer.

Thought "mix up a batch for your snatch" should be their motto, if it isn't already.

Shannon said...

Skye: Dad, Uncle Joe, and Cousin Peanut all read this blog. Can't wait for the next family reunion.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

Does anyone like a full bush anymore? Seriously who wants to floss their teeth - that goes for the guys too - ha

restaurantrefugee said...

zipcode, are suggesting manscaping?

freckledk said...

Oh, good Lord. Ick.

While I've never seen a dyed bush (that I know of, anyway), I once saw a man who braided (and beaded!) his *special* head of hair.

And this was on a nude beach. Just to be clear, I was in no way associated with him.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

crap where did my comment go

yes RR - manscaping that area is total must - I will tell the poor guy to put his pants back on and come back when "that situation is taken care of" ha another SATC reference -
Not only can see the action better that way - you look bigger too guys!

Shannon said...

Gilahi...root touch-ups are best conducted by a professional.

Zipcode/Refugee...ooh, boy, the manscaping debate rages on.

Frecks...now, if he had pube-dreads, THAT would have been disgusting.

This is one of those rare days where I wish I blogged anonymously.

Ibid said...

I dunno, zipcode. If I look any bigger I become intimidating.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

ibid - ha ha women will thank you believe me - no one wants to hunt for a stick in the forest ya know

Ibid said...

Heh. (smirk)

There's no response that doesn't sound like I'm full of myself (and crap). So I'm just gonna say it.

I'm more of a redwood in a rose garden.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

ibid - ha omg - what's your number? ha jk

Shannon said...

Redwoods are kind of skinny...wouldn't a sequioa be better?

Ibid said...

But redwood is alliterative with rose garden.

Sequoia among shrubberies?

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

insert catchy monty python quote here:

You must bring us a shubbery! NI!

Justin said...

You know how I put myself out there on the Lemmonex post?

Yeah, this is where ibid and I go our separate ways :)

No one likes getting lost in a forest, though...

Shannon said...

Justin, sooooo with you there. Notice I'm not giving out any personal info here...and it's gonna stay that way.

Zipcode/Ibid, I am a shrubber.

LivitLuvit said...

Omg Shannon, pube-dreads? Can't thank you enough for that visual...

You should send Peter a link, he'd be in heaven over here.

Ibid said...

Come on, Justin. It's fun.

It's so big it's got a frost line.
It's so big it has citizenship in three countries.
It's so big my urologist needs a sherpa.

Shannon said...

Glorious Natural Pelt Peter? I'm surprised there isn't some sort of bat-signal (twat-signal?) that tells him pubic hair is being discussed.

In other fun, Justin, kindly email me. Thanks!

Ibid said...

A shrubber? You're not offering to make a topiary are you? That'd show the braided guy how it's really done.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

ibid is cracking me up as is the entire post and thread - cause my day sucks right now

Shannon said...

Between Ibid and Zipcode, I can probably just take today off. See y'all later, I'll be at the beach.

BatesHorn said...

Pure. F-ing. Gold.

Manscaping? Is that just trimming up or finding a waxing specialist? Do I really want to know the answer to that question?

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

Manscaping can be either or bateshorn - I have known few men to get their goods waxed - but a good hedge trim is always good.

BatesHorn said...

Hmmm. Now you've got all sorts of wheels and gears turning.

Excellent.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

It is my own personal opinion for all of america's sake that all men need to trim their goods. When I run for President I will use that as my platform. Enact into a federal law ha ha

is it 530 yet?

BatesHorn said...

Zipcode-

Wait till you go to K street. I'm leaving work in 15 to go have drinks.

Mmmmm....afternoon alcohol consumption.....

Shannon said...

Zipcode seems to be quite the expert on grooming - do I smell a guest post?

Dana said...

For all the men who like women to do a certain thing (rhymes with low bob) and complain that we don't do it enough, a nice clearing of the property would make us much more likely to visit it. Just sayin'.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

High five to Dana

Shan - anything for you - I am big on hygeine :-) Do you want specific stories of encounters?

Dana said...

Zipcode -- I read an interview that Sean Combs did last week where he said that his grooming routine before a night out included waxing of the nether regions (for the benefit of the ladies, he said) and slapping cologne on there afterwards. Not only does Mr. Combs prove he has a very high pain threshold there, but he also shows he's definitely heterosexual. Have you ever accidentally tasted cologne? Imagine how much fun it would be to accidentally get a mouthful of something you didn't expect in the deal. Ewwwwww.

Ibid said...

If any of you start dating me I'll be happy to shave anything you want shaved.

Tina said...

Shannon-

i couldn't comment earlier becausse this is SOOOOO not work appropriate and Mega corp has the IT snoops check up on su. You all have gone far and wide from the original post but I have to ask - who in the world dyes their snatch hot pink?

I know IBID said they don't care by the time they get their but really - hot pink wouldn't at least make you a little worried.

I'm telling you guys - manscaping is a must but wacky fun colors - yeah - not so much.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

see us girls all love the manscaping.

Sean Combs - gotta love Diddy - he is very hygenic though - I appreciate that about him. unless its flavored cologne ha - ya know I would make exceptions for Jason Statham and Bruce Willis though -- they can slap whatever they want down there ha ha

Justin said...

Hell, *I'd* make an exception for Jason Statham

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

oh you have no idea what I would do to both of those men -- sigh
yeah the alcohol is a speaking -sorry shannon - funny drinks + blogging not a good idea.

Ibid said...

Hot pink is clearly a dye job. No worries.

Little red razor bumps on the, other hand, can cause some concern if you don't know what they are.

Shannon said...

OK, I'm back, though y'all seem to be doing fine on your own.

Zipcode - if you can give me 200 words on what sort of grooming products and services you would like men to use, I'll post it (...remembering this is a nonanonymous blog that my dad reads, thanksyouverymuch). So lots of euphemisms.

RE: Muff Daddy, aka Sean Combs, COLOGNE? Maybe mouthwash would be a better idea, but would that sting more or less than cologne?

RE: the hot pink...yeah, I don't see myself as the PunkMuff type. Would any guys consider that hot? Or just sort of odd, and best not commented upon? Did any guys see the stenciling/dye kits and think, "Gosh, I wish I knew the kind of girl that did that!"

BatesHorn said...

I had an ex years ago who would do shapes for a landing strip. Usually a heart. Good stuff.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

Shannon - working on it this morning for you and will email it to you :-)

Ibid said...

Stencils? Heck, I just look at the very vanilla sex ed book my parents gave me instead of "The Talk" and think "I wish I knew women who do that."

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

whats your email - I can't find it on here -- I just wrote the whole post up lol

capitolhill20210 at yahoo dot com

thanks

Shannon said...

Zip, my contact info is in the header...mybrilcareer@yahoo.com

DANA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. I hope you can live with yourself.

Dana said...

Hey, you now know what gets all of us to talking. Pubic hair!

Shannon said...

I cannot believe that the popular posts around here are about pubic hair and pimping out Lemmonex. Maybe I should rename this thing:

Pubes N' Pimpin'

Dave B. said...

I dunno Shannon. That sounds like it could belong to a priest.

Anonymous said...

LOVE the blonde betty! my bf thinks its hot. i think i'll dye my pubs green next year for st pattys.

Shannon said...

Green? So long as you don't shave yourself into the shape of a shamrock...

Anonymous said...

Dad poisoned the minds of his children with his irresponsible television viewing choices.
Among other things.
Dad is liked, so expect the intent was not there. However, I suspect the same cannot be said for his wife.
Case in point:::Neighbor's driveway sidewalk chalk art consisted of a girl's name, a smiley face, other innocent, child-like offerings.
In our driveway our kids drew body outlines, like those one would find at a murder scene.
And all his son spoke of was guns, hunting and killing.
The father's irresponsibility was manifested in how the son spoke when he was younger. Just ask his former teachers.

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