So I thought I’d subvert the script, and list five times I was NOT sexy to men, and rate them on a scale of 1-10. Awesomely, they all occurred in the last 24 hours:
1. I told the Blond's readers that my safety words are, “OUCH!” followed by, “The hell?” Why bother with a code word when you can get right to the point? Unsexy quotient: 7.5
2. This morning, I freaked over the mysterious relocation of the toothpaste, and turned the entire bathroom upside down to find it while muttering to myself and yanking at my hair. (I go a little bonkers when I can’t find something.) Unsexy quotient: 4
3. I used generic Windex to clean a recalcitrant DVD, after popping store-brand Claritin and pouring a glass of fancy Pennsylvania wine. Cheapskates are hot…right? Wrong! Unsexy quotient: 6
4. I called my dad to see how his cyborg surgery went, and, upon hearing Dad’s sad, scratchy, tube-down-the-throat voice, demanded he perform some tunes from the Shaft soundtrack. That’s me, Daughter of the Year. Unsexy quotient: 3
5. When I brushed my teeth last night, I spread some of the foam around and pretended to be a rabid dog. Unsexy quotient: 10, possibly 11.
Oh well, at least I find me sexy.