Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Special Guest Post, by a Very Special Internet Wacko

This comment was left for me elsewhere on the Internet, and it was just so amazingly awesome I had to share it with all of you. You're welcome.

I'm putting it up without any backstory or explanation. I believe this paragraph of solidified vinegar can stand on its own, like a Jell-O mold of indiscriminate rage:


And you are Suzy homemaker who makes cakes, cheese fondue, and eats useless fats, has what leg to stand on? But let me think about this...I will give up my 2 mile run in the morning, my 7 miles on the elliptical, plus an hour of endurance training to go back to that slob that I looked like 6 months ago. Vain...oh yeah baby, you got that's right. Take a look at my abs...not from
eating your american flag cake, or drinking beer on a Friday. Oh, forgot the most important thing...I am 46, and this body and cocky ass attitude still turns heads...maybe not yours...and I am so glad you are not interested in us cocky, conceeded, ripped, chiseled, full of piss and vinegar, dago boys, who can go for hours in the sack, from all the useless hours put in the gym. You win...You can have your flag cake and eat it too.

Thanks for joining us, folks. Today's post was brought to you by the letters C, R, A, Z, and Y!

67 comments:

Justin said...

Isn't it "pith" and vinegar?

Justin said...

Okay, apparently I should do five seconds of research *before* I post next time.

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/pith.html

Shannon said...

Justin, this sort of thing defies analysis and research. I can see this guy lacing his 'roids with ground-up Viagra.

Lemmonex said...

I think I am in love! How charming.

He may be able to go "hours in the sack" but I bet this is only if he can stare at himself in the mirror at the same time.

Ibid said...

I can go hours in the sack, too. I overslept by 30 minutes this morning.

Zipcode said...

hours in the sack eh? yeah doubtful - and I laughing at the 7 miles on the eliptical bahahaha.

Cheer for your American Flag cake!

Shannon said...

Lemmonex - he'd have to look in the mirror, and I'd have to bring a book.

Ibid - Really? Talk about stamina!

Zip - What's the correct amount for an elliptical? More importantly, why on earth would I care about this guy's workout routine!

LivitLuvit said...

Too bad he's so conceeded. He might have had time to pick up a book and learn how to spell.

charlotteharris said...

that american flag cake really pissed him off... dare you to ask him if he hates america!

Shannon said...

LivLuv - See, I thought he was saying he's French, and he surrenders a lot.

CH - I don't think he hates America. I think he hates everything! Except maybe his workout routine.

Zipcode said...

The elliptical is a freaking killer in my opinion, but if he is the self proclaimed mr universe - he probably can do 7 miles - go him!

WordNerd said...

Why do I have a feeling that the seven mile power workouts on the elliptical are done at zero resistance? :D

GabbyG said...

Going 7 miles on the elliptical is no big whoop. Why do you think he only does 2 miles in the morning? 7 miles on the elliptical would take about 45 minutes. I love that he can't drink beer on a Friday or he may become the slob he was six months ago.
And I think you girls are crazy! Who doesn't want to go for hours in the sack with a guy who has a cocky attitude and can't spell? Yum-o!

Shannon said...

Zip - He's not just Mr. Universe, he's He-Man Master of the Universe!

Word - My only resistance is to the charms of sexbuckets like him. Also, I didn't exactly appreciate being called a fat slob.

GabbyG - I picture him having one beer, and all the muscles suddenly melt away.

By the way, is this guy calling me a fatty or what? Discuss.

Zipcode said...

To poke at myself and my old post - did he want to set your flag cake on fire?

suicide_blond said...

errr..did he realllly say
"dago boys"???
ummm yeah...enough said...
xoxo

restaurantrefugee said...

Hours X length X girth X technique X steroid rage = are fucking serious? Please, I have never been a woman and have no clue what sex with a man is like, however, I cannot imagine that being assaulted with an eye dropper repeatedly sounds like a good time.

Shannon said...

Zip - No, I think he wanted to set my loins on fire.


Blond - I think by age 46, one is no longer a "boy."

Refugee - Ha! That's totally my idea of a good time. A good time in hell, maybe.

Justin said...

livitluvit, I hate to be that guy, but it's "conceited" :)

lacochran said...

He should have "conceeded" before he started.

Shannon said...

Justin - I'm sure she knows, but "conceeded" means so many potentially lovely things.

Lacochran - I'm actually sort of in love with this guy. He's like a firehose of meathead.

Michael said...

Uh, I had a half carafe of wine with my pasta and veal lunch and a chocolate brownie after. I have not been near a gym since the 9th grade. Love-making should never take more than a minute or two (I get winded fast). Do you still love me? A little?

freckledk said...

I think that, at age 46, one should learn how to spell conceited.

Titania said...

How tall is that guy? I imagine him being just 5'2''? Oh, the law of compensations....

Shannon said...

Michael - Just so long as you never criticize my fabulous flag cake.

Frecks - I think, by age 46, one should not be sending psycho-grams over the Internet.

Titania - Actually, I'm 5'2", and I've been carrying this man around in my pocket.

Titania said...

Actually, I had earlier this year a guy on some popular internet dating site sent me a similar outraged message since I dared to respond "Thanks, but not thanks" to his email... He even used similar words... I wonder if it is the same "boy". If he is, he is in no luck, it seems

Ryane said...

See, I think he probably does go 7 miles on the elliptical. One on Monday, one on Tuesday, one on Wednesday...

As for 'hours in the sack'...well, he probably does spend...what, I'm guessing at least 7 hours there everynight, right? Sleeping? So by that calculation: What.A.Stud! Hours in the sack, indeed.

Shannon said...

Titania - you mean this man doesn't have women hurling themselves in his general vicinity? Whoa!

Ryane - Also, did any other woman read "hours in the sack" and mysteriously develop leg cramps?

Tina said...

Shannon - Oh I am sure he has all the woman in his vicinity hurling! I wanted to just from reading his post.

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