A date with the vegan teetotaler? Yeah, I can probably skip that one. What would we even talk about? How much fun he isn’t having in his life? How much I dig his hemp shoes, tofu pies and moral superiority?
Or, speaking of superiority, I think I can skip the guy whose online profile specifies, “Absolutely NOBODY - overweight, has kids, divorced/separated. “ Well, clearly, buddy, you’re looking for the cutest little tabula rasa in Washington.
Meet at Starbucks? Sure...I take my coffee with cream, sugar, and a little less of your sanctimony.
Then there’s all the people who specify, “Absolutely no drama." Because life totally works like that. If you can’t deal with relationship problems, don’t be in a relationship. Get a dog or a new grill or something.
The point, and there is one: why do so many people focus so hard on what they don’t want, what they don't like, and what they simply can't approve of? I get sick from both aspartame and mushrooms. But when picking a restaurant, I don’t keep a list of places that ban Sweet n’ Low and Portobello. I go where I want and make do with what’s offered.
It’s not just dating. There’s a whole life out there that so many people haven’t bothered to experience.
And I'm the worst of all: I never go to Virginia. I figure I grew up in Virginia, and that's plenty for one lifetime. I don't fly, because crowds freak me out. I don't camp, because I like to sleep in my own bed. Even when one of my friends busts the slats and I spend the next week sleeping at a forty-five degree angle. It's my bed, and I like it. I don't take the bus, instead, I walk miles out of my way. I live too much in my comfort zone.
So, I'm taking suggestions. What should I try out, start saying "yes" to, and open myself up for? I'm game for anything...except that date with a vegan teetotaler.