Hi! Anybody here? Just, me, then? Everyone else has already left for the weekend?
Good. Since nobody’s looking, I’m just going to babble on about nothing.
Why do all my sinus medications make me see little elves dancing across the ledge of the reception desk? Oh, is that because I’m not supposed to take them all at once? How dull. This is seriously the best high EVER.
Why do men do that weird leg-spreading thing on the Metro? Do they think I’m aroused by their knees? Do they really have the sort of junk that requires separate seating arrangements? Or do they just want me to believe that they do?
Why does the sight of a BlackBerry make me die inside?
What exactly does a drum cartridge do?
Why do dating and job rejection emails all look suspiciously alike? Do they all come from the same Form Letter Factory?
Why does my hair wait until a rainy day to develop any sort of personality?
And, lastly, why does the very existence of Vin Diesel offend me so grievously?