Thursday, August 28, 2008

So Long, Cupcake

Last night, I had a girl date on my roster.

Lemmonex and I made plans to check out the new cupcake joint in Dupont, so I could get my sugar on and she could post a review. And maybe afterwards we'd drink International Coffee while musing about that cute waiter, Jean-Luc. Or just have a pillow fight and giggle. What? We're all feminine and crap.


Or maybe we could have gone for cupcakes, followed by fancy burgers, Belgian food, upscale pizza, then small plates. It would have been like the last five years of the DC dining scene, Memento-style. But even that happy scenario was not to be.

I arrived at 6:30 to see a line spilling out of the store and down Connecticut Avenue. I joined the horde and waited for Lemmonex. The line inched forward. I was ever closer to trendy sweets and the anticipation was killing me.

At 6:45, Lemmonex arrived. Not two seconds later, they sold their last cupcake. The woman right in front of me snagged the very last one. Denied! Then the staff kicked everyone out of the store.

First off, let’s all stand in awe of the gross incompetence of Hello, Cupcake. Their first week in business, and they sold out of cupcakes fifteen minutes before closing. Get it together, people!

Second, let’s reflect upon the absurdity of it all. How do you run out of the very product you named your store after?

“Welcome to Staples, we’re fresh out of staples today.”

“Hi! Thanks for shopping at Toys R Us, unfortunately, we have no toys.”

“Due to rising gas prices, CarMax has decided to exclusively sell scooters and riding lawnmowers.”
It’s just too weird. At least the evening wasn’t a total loss: we consoled ourselves with pizza and beer. Just like the classy, upscale ladies we truly are. Then I broke a beer bottle and waved it at some guy's face, while Lemmonex hit another dude over the head with a chair. Really, that totally happened. It was awesome.

22 comments:

Lemmonex said...

That was some nonsense. I had spent the whole day dreaming of that cupcake. They have messed with the wrong women.

If you thought that bar fight was bad last night, wait until Hello Cupcake sees me rain my fury upon them today. I am planning a return visit. They will rue the day.

At least I still got pizza with my boo. Not all was lost.

Shannon said...

Ah, Lemmonex, girl you know it's true. I also like that we both left the cupcake joint muttering about how we're going to trash them on our blogs. We are SUCH nerds.

Ibid said...

Sounds like they're suffering from being new. If they managed to time the day's demand to within 15 minutes I'd say they did a good job.

Go back a month or two from now when the novelty has worn off and they'll have more cupcakes than they know what to do with. The alley will be filled with diabetic rats.

Michael said...

Beer and another bar brawl? I may be getting slightly tumescent ... no more, please!

[F]oxymoron said...

...Slowly backing away... leaving heavily frosted cupcake peace offerings... backing away...

Shannon said...

Ibid: Our next band? The Diabetic Rats.

Michael: Normally, Lem and I wear matching spandex getups and fly about the city fighting crime. But we wanted to mix it up, so bar brawl it was!

Foxy: Aw, you know the way to my heart. Is that chocolate frosting?

Shannon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LivitLuvit said...

Y'all were robbed. Oh well, now I get to go with. The day I'm having, I could really use a goddamn cupcake.

Shannon said...

LivLuv - or Chinese buffet?

Jamie said...

Ahh... you're just bitter because you showed up too late. I suppose you go to a party at 2 AM and complain that the keg is gone too.

Sorry for the smack talking, I'm over it now :-) But seriously what is up with the cupcake obsession in this town lately? I don't think I've seen one since my babysitter used to make them when I was 7. Until this year, and now there seem to be more cupcake stores than Starbucks.

Shannon said...

Jamie - Smack away. Er, that sounded wrong.

I was there a full half-hour before closing time. That's plenty of time to wait, purchase cupcakes, and eat them. If I'd shown up at 6:59, maybe I'd feel differently.

[F]oxymoron said...

Of course it is topped with chocolate frosting... and a peace sign made from various candies.

LivitLuvit said...

Dammit, yes actually. You already eat?

Shannon said...

Foxy - Aw!

LivLuv - Sorry, when the Chinese food is calling to me, I have to answer right away.

freckledk said...

I'll bet the cupcakes were crap anyway. Beer, on the other hand, is always good.

FoggyDew said...

Just wondering, did those cupcakes come from the break room of Monsters Inc.? Are Sulley and Mike Wazowski kicking in closet doors looking for their snacks?

Damn, chinese food sounds good right now. Chinese food and beer sound even better.

Shannon said...

Frecks - YEAH! I can totally do better than that stupid cupcake. I bet the cupcake uses emoticons, too!

Foggy - I found the cupcakes on Evite...I like the way they're mocking me.

Marissa said...

Then I broke a beer bottle and waved it at some guy's face, while Lemmonex hit another dude over the head with a chair.

I would've shivved a dude with my plastic street knife.

Shannon said...

Marissa - Totally.

Alice in Blunderland said...

There used to be a KFC near my house. Rumor has it they constantly ran out of chicken.

zandria said...

It's quite screwed up that a cupcake store would run out of cupcakes before closing time. I've never visited a store dedicated solely to cupcakes IN MY LIFE...so I'm thinking maybe I need to check out what all the fuss is about (but I hate waiting in lines, so I'd have to go during a not-so-busy time).

Malnurtured Snay said...

Those are AWESOME cupcakes. I <3 those cupcakes! I want to ... well, freeze dry them and put them on display because they're too awesome to eat!