Saturday, at a vegetarian crab feast (don’t ask), I mentioned how much I enjoy Old Bay seasoning. Except it came out as, “I would eat my own foot if it was slathered in Old Bay!”
This made me contemplate the circumstances under which I would eat my own foot. I would definitely have to detach it first. I haven’t done enough yoga to allow me to eat my foot while it was still attached to my body.
I would eat my foot if it were slathered in Old Bay, queso dip, North Carolina vinegar sauce, spicy mustard, my mom’s spaghetti sauce, or dark chocolate. I would seriously consider eating my foot if it had Cajun seasoning on it, but would most likely demur.
I bet feet aren’t so bad. Bony, and probably hard to pick apart, but I had some great training at the crab feast. (There’s nothing more fun than dissecting your own dinner.) I bet it would even be rather tasty, in fact, people taste like… sweet beef. Though I've also heard we taste like pork or Spam.
Lastly, I would eat my own foot to get out of finishing this post, because, wow, how do you wrap up a post about self-cannibalization? With footnotes? I'm stumped. You really put your foot in your mouth, didn't you? Don't be such a heel! Toe the line.
So, I’ll throw it out to the commentariat. Tell me the when, whys and hows of the circumstances that would lead you to eat your own foot. Bonus points if you would eat your foot while it's still attached to your body.