FAQ/About

Who are you?

I'm Shannon, I'm 33 years old, and I live in D.C. My sister and I form a two-person ethnic group, the Austrokees. I was born in Australia and grew up in assorted sections of America. I got most of my schooling in the redneck gangsta paradise of Woodbridge, Virginia, where I was a hot sauce salesgirl.

Perhaps the best description of me came from a recovering alcoholic/bipolar guy who tried to pick me up in a bar: "You're cute. But you're a force of nature and have a 50/50 chance of winding up in rehab."

Spot on, dude.

Anything I should know about commenting?

I love my commenters! They're the best part of having a blog, and I respond to as many comments as I possibly can.

I have a few ground rules: You are welcome to disagree with me, you are welcome to offer criticism, you can debate with other posters. You can even hit on me, be insane, or act a little bit creepy. However, you can't trade in personal insults and hostilities, you cannot assert that people who disagree with you are dumb and/or ignorant, and you really, really can't be rude to other commenters. Not in my house.

Also, as many of my commenters are fellow bloggers: Please don't pimp your blogs in the comment thread. If you wrote on a related topic, feel free to post a link. Straight-out directing people to your site is gauche, and it's not the way to build a readership. That comes from finding your voice, which takes time, talent and discipline.

When and why did you start blogging?

I started this site in December of 2002. I used to send snarky reviews of 7th Heaven to my sister, she used to send them to her friends, and somehow this site was born. Phase Two was a blow-by-blow account of my existence as a diplomat's wife, and my audience was made up mostly of the Foreign Service community, plus some lumberyard spammers.

Phase 3 began in 2006 and has been mostly social commentary, sarcasm and humor. I figure nobody cares about my innermost feelings, heck, I don't even care about my innermost feelings. We'd all much rather hear me riff about that time a bird pooped on my head.

What's a scanner jockey?

My first job when I came home from Sarajevo was as a temp file clerk at a government agency. I put documents through a scanner all day, followed by some hole punching.

I'm your friend. Hey....was that post about me?

Probably not. Sorry. I write a lot about social interactions, entertaining, and modern manners, and, yes, my friends are a big inspiration for me. But I only write about friends as a collective group, not as individuals. In other words, I didn't write about bad fashion because Suzy wore clogs last week. So please don't parse my blog for things to be offended about.

This is a humor blog? But you're not funny.

If this blog isn't to your taste, that's OK. I'm not much for meanness or fart jokes, and I'm sure not everyone wants to hear about that time I tried to get a job as a flight attendant.

You aren't mean? What are you, some kind of hippie?

I think there's a continuum of humor: irreverent, offensive, and cruel. Irreverent is tongue-in-cheek, where it's plain you're just kidding. Offensive would be picking on a group as a whole, like Mormons or women over 30. Cruel would be singling out individuals for ridicule. I stay away from offensive or cruel on this site, because I think it's lazy writing and a particularly cowardly form of bullying.

What's your real name?
Shannon Lee Stamey. Really. Other folks can be anonymous all they want, but that's not for me. I think Internet anonymity can bring out the Inner Meanie faster than the Metro during tourist season. I don't like my Inner Meanie, and I don't think she deserves a platform.

You were a diplomat's wife?

Yes. I was posted in Bogota, Colombia, and Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina. We divorced amicably in 2006. All I'll say about that is that it's very difficult to live as an appendage of someone else, and coming home to start over was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Also, I would advise against lurching straight from a quarterlife crisis into a starter marriage.

Can we see a photo? What do you look like?

I hate having my picture taken, so, actually, very few photos of me exist. If it helps, sober guys tell me I look like Jennifer Jason Leigh, and drunk guys say I remind them of Juliette Lewis. So take a Breathalyzer and adjust your expectations accordingly.

You suck! Or, I love you! How do I tell you that?

Email scannerjockey@gmail.com. As part of my general "Don't Be a Jerk" philosophy of blogging, all emails are confidential unless you grant me permission to post them.