Friday, May 09, 2008

Everybody Blogs About the Weather...

...but nobody ever does anything about it.

I am, in the phraseology of Charles Dickens, an "eminently practical" woman. But today, a day in which I practically had to swim through the rain to get to work, your favorite Pocket Blogger:

1. Wore my hair down, thereby causing some sort of psychotic break in which my hair believes it belongs to Gidget-era Sally Field (there are schwoopy flippy ski-jump bits),

2. Wore jeans, patent leather shoes, and a leather jacket, all of which take on unholy amounts of water, and;

3. Left the fabulous houndstooth Wellies at home.

But, enough about me. Let's talk about people who annoy me. People with no sense of umbrella-quette. Please note that the standard umbrella is effectively an oversize, nylon ninja throwing star with pointy bits on all sides. That means you need to allow extra sidewalk space so you do not impale others in the eyeball.

Also, Lady at Au Bon Pain This Morning, this is not your personal rainstorm. It's not some little cartoon cloud, following you around like Pigpen's dirt cloud. Ergo, you are not the only person getting rained on. So do not walk into a cafe, stop just inside the door, and shake out and fiddle with your umbrella for several minutes. See that waterlogged short chick behind you? She's already closed her umbrella, and is standing there in the rain while you get everything just so. Move inside already like a civilized person.

Wow, I'm cranky today. Anybody else got a rainy-day gripe to share?
PS: The photo above is of the Nubrella, specially designed so people can use their Blackberries in the rain. I love the woman, who looks all sexy despite the fact she's wearing a bubble on her, that amount of makeup would just slide off on a day like today.


Capitol Hill 20210 said...

The VRE apparently runs late in the rain, hence I had to drive. People can't drive in the rain around here..........hence I broke the law and got in HOV. muahahaha.

Anonymous said...

Being of a taller stature, I feel like I have to wear protective goggles when I walk anywhere in a rainstorm. I know you shorter folk think we taller folk have it easy, but that's not always so. C'mon people. Keep your umbrellas out of my eyes!

Shannon said...

Zipcode, just pretend you drive a hybrid. Because you love the environment. And puppies and rainbows and stuff.

Thoughtful, ha! I try to keep an eye out for that. The worst for me is sharing an umbrella with a tall person - I have a friend who is 6'4", the last time we shared an umbrella I got completely soaked.

hey pretty said...

Umbrellas and city crowds do not mix. I do say it's quite difficult to efficiently walk from metro to work when umbrellas extend the amount of space that a person takes up on the sidewalk. This was not nearly as annoying to me today however, as the fact that I got stuck making first thing in the morning small talk with the most annoying person ever (ie one of my coworkers) on the walk to work. I tried avoiding him and instead he caught up with me and tapped me on the shoulder so that I would pay attention to him for two long blocks while he prattled on about nothing in particular. Luckily, I can thank my raving case of adult ADD for my ability to tune him out most of the time.

Anonymous said...

i'm 6'4" and i do try to lean down when i'm sharing an umbrella with the vertically's tough though....i'd suggest riding piggyback on your tall friend next time you guys get caught in the rain with one umbrella

Shannon said...

HP, it's hard to share with big brellas, huh? Some of them look like mobile tents to me.

Thoughtful -- I think he wound up giving up and just letting me use it (it was my umbrella, anyway).

Ibid said...

I'm a Segway driver. I have a snowmobile helmet for cold and rain, a trenchcoat to keep off the rain, and dry socks in my desk at work.

But there's days when I'm on foot and it's raining. For that I have a bumbershoot (a.k.a. golf umbrella). I'm sure others hate it. It could house a family of 4. I make sure when meeting others on the sidewalk I elevate it so they and their umbrellas can pass under. But I love it.

Recently the Red Cross gave me this toy umbrella for giving so much blood over the years. I used it for the first time to run the office time sheets over to the contracting office. I collapsed the umbrella and gave it one good shake. The damn thing nearly flew apart. With a pair of plyers it may get one more use.

Jo said...

I think raicoats with hoodies work well. And besides, I ALWAYS forget my umbrella in the car.

That woman looks robotic. Domo (domo).

Shannon said...

Ibid has a Segway AND a golf umbrella! What is this, Dirty Secrets Week?

Jo, I kind of dig the robot chick. Does that make me gay? Or just a technophile?

Mike said...

The first person who slow-walks in front of me wearing a Nubrella and futzing with their Blackberry / iPod / phone gets pushed into the river.

I try not to use an umbrella unless it's absolutely necessary. It usually just ends up blowing around and I get as wet as I would have without one.

Shannon said...

Mike, I might help you push!

I think we should have a family outing where we all walk around in Nubrellas. Come on guys, it's the Ultimate Weather Protector!

On a related note, their website is awesome:

RedBach said...

Yep, gotta love the rabid umbrella folk. If your eyes don't end up in a kebab dish, you'll marvel at the city folk's fascination with umbrella envy.

Ibid said...

No fight for parking, no paying for gas, no insurance, no real risk of it being stolen (like my car)... I love my Segway. Some think I look like doof. But, quite frankly, that's gonna happen anyway.

What's wrong with a bumbershoot?

No, my dirty secret is that I don't have a mobile phone.

Shannon said...

Redbach, I don't think you've posted here before, so welcome!

Ibid, nothing is wrong with a bumbershoot. In fact, I'm going to go have a baby just so I can name it Bumbershoot Nubrella.

Shannon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lacochran said...


I pay extra for my hair cutter to add in the schwoopy flippy ski-jump bits but I can never get the right effect on my own.

The Nubrella advertising tag line: For the person who wants their own cone of silence.

Shannon said...

Nubrella: Insert your own "most people walk around in a bubble anyway" joke here.

Anonymous said...

Porn? I have seen the blogmaster in a gay gangbang movie the other day, he was high on pills and was taking cock in every hole, that horny gayass cocksucker son of a bitch.

The author of this blog is dumbass motherfucker, he is a faggyass pillpopping maniac.

Anonymous said...

Its my chief time to fill someone in on on this forum,just wannat recompense for some friends here.if its not allowed to record on this board,amuse cross out this thread.Nice to meet you!

[url=]My designer handabgs[/url]