I wish I hadn't given two of my neighbors an eyeful of underpants on Sunday morning. And, how I wish I hadn't said, "Hi!" to them in my best Sunday voice, and given them a friendly wave and a big-ass smile as I fumbled about in my t-shirt, struggling to cover up my hindquarters.And I truly, to the bottom of my squishy marshmallow heart, wish these neighbors hadn't both been under the age of five.
But really, people...like any of YOU put on pants to go get the newspaper.
In the comments, tell me about the time you flashed a preschooler. Or am I the only person who does this?
13 comments:
I'm sorry Shannon, but I have never flashed a preschooler. I have, however, participated in other activities I am now deeply ashamed of, namely on spring break of my senior year of high school. Activities that shall not be named.
Was it just outside your door? Why were out even out of the apartment? Don't you just have to crack the door and grab it?
So many questions.
Brett - OK, I am officially going to drag that story out of you!
Lem - My delivery person tucks the paper between the doorknob and the doorframe, so when I open the door in the mornings the paper falls to the floor with a satisfying ker-thunk. Which means I then have to bend over and get it. Which, until now, wasn't an issue.
I get nervous when I'm just jamming in my boxers around the house and I have to go outside. I'll get the mail without a shirt on in hopes of impressing some chick but I'll always make sure I have something on the bottom.
What is a newspaper? Is this some kind of ancient reading technology that involves killing trees?
Dmbosstone - I'm thinking I'll have to develop a similar level of modesty.
Jamie - Yup, and it's delivered by Pony Express.
i do not wear pants anytime i am home, but all my windows face an alley directly across from a row of townhouses whose windows are level with mine.
walking around in my undies i play the game, "if i can see you, you can see me" and i duck belatedly after making eye contact with my neighbors.
By 5, kids have seen it all.
Or is that only in damaged homes of broken families?
Lusty - I live alone, and sort of enjoy the pantsless morning newspaper retrieval. So sad i might have to break with one of my favorite morning routines.
f.B - Hey, maybe the kids learned something!
Does my kid watching me shower count? I find it kind of creepy but he freaks if I close him out of the bathroom. God knows what his therap bills are going to cost me.
Yeah, my overshare is along Tina's lines: I have only one bathroom with a shower, so I regularily am expected to shower while one of the small Y chromosomes sits on the throne (doing business) and opines about Transformers or Anakin Skywalker.
Not a pre-schooler, but how about the 93 year old geezer next door?
I came in from a bike ride and was drenched. In my garage, I stripped off my bike jersey and as I was about to strip off my bike shorts, hit the button to lower the garage door. As I stepped out of my pants, I bumped my bike, which bumped the broom, which fell in front of the automatic garage door sensor and caused the door to go back up!
I glanced up and make full eye contact with my next door neighbor who was cutting his grass and I, obviously, was naked in my garage.
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