Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Yet Another Experiment in Pointless Self-Denying Self-Improvement

As we all know, I love random self-improvement projects. Man-Free 'til May gave me all that self-esteem and decision-making ability I'd been missing out on. Plus, my perfect prince dropped out of the sky on May 2nd. We got married in a cliffside ceremony last week, both of us riding our purple unicorns down the aisle, we're expecting twins, and we spend our nights making blanket forts and eating perfectly balanced gourmet vegan dinners.

It's all true! Well, except for the parts that didn't happen. Which is pretty much all of it.

We all know that life happens in fits and starts, and my last project did little more than give me room to breathe. I needed the break, I needed the space, I needed the extra time nestled up to my lovely girlfriends. But I'm questing for a new exercise in self-denial and clever wordplay. And now we've got it:

No-Buy July

If I don't own it by now, I won't own it until August. I am not going shopping in July...at all. As the pile of magazines on my coffee table can attest, I'm a bit of a fashion freak and shopaholic. This will remove many items from my monthly budget:

Playstation games
Kitchen implements

Dresses will totally be the hard part. I purchase, on average, a dress a week. (Sure, they're the cheapies from Forever 21, but it adds up after a while.) I guess I'll go all recessionista, and 'shop my closet' for the latest looks. That, or I'll go depressionista and make myself a frock out of my shower curtain.

So stay tuned as I torture myself doing something that doesn't matter, for reasons that are obscure even to myself. Should be awesome.


Lemmonex said...

I always fail miserably at this, but let me know how it goes.

What happens if you really NEED something, like an underwire in a bra breaks?

lacochran said...

So, this doesn't include groceries and toilet paper and alcohol, does it? We're talking strictly clothing, right? Otherwise, this could get ugly.

Shannon said...

Lem - I own plenty of bras already...though it could be argued they're the wrong size. I will make an exception and buy a new one if Tbird wins the bet.

Lacochran - Just consumer stuff I don't need - food and booze will always be welcome in my house!

FoggyDew said...

Does your vow include eating out? Take out? As I've learned, that stuff can add up as well.

And it's probably just as well you've decided to skip the Guns 'n Ammo's July "Automatic of the Month," it's a last year's model and soooo out of style for 2009. It would totally clash with everything in your collection.

Dmbosstone said...

Ok so no goods- but what about services? Say you need to call an exterminator or you're so lonely from May you call up a different kind of exterminator...

Shannon said...

Foggy - Considering you STILL haven't gotten around to teaching me how to shoot (nag nag nag)...I can do without weapons for a few weeks.

Dmbosstone - I suspended my gigolo delivery service for July.

kelsi said...

I'm about to be that creepy blog reader who's been reading your blog for months, but hasn't commented yet. Hi!
But gigolo service suspension? I know you want to cut down on consumption, but isn't that taking it a little far?

f.B said...

Do utility bills count as shopping? Like shopping for electricity? Or are both of those questions as dumb as they seem?

Tina said...

How about purchases for others? I find I can keep to a shopping moritorium for myself but then I just up my purchases for others. (Usually the kids but frineds and family too) this allwos me to feel all virtuous about "not spending" but still does not help my bank account and I'm still getting that hunt and gather buzz so its totally cheating.

Shannon said...

kelsi - Welcome! I wonder if there's a gigolo-sharing service somewhere. Like, ZipHo or something.

f.B. - I'm still paying my regular bills, I'm just not buying myself any presents for a month.

Tina - Why do you ask, is your birthday coming up?

Dana said...

This is a good idea that I'm going to try to emulate. Mostly because I'm very broke at the moment.

Titania said...

I read this and I feel I want to go buy a dress now. Not good. And I am addicted to online shopping, and, as most, work all day in front of a computer. Recipe for disaster.

Shannon said...

Dana - Solidarity!

Titania - Buy a dress for me while you're at it. My favorite color is red.

Titania said...

My favorite color too, so that will be easy. I was already looking at dresses online when I got this message. Sigh.

restaurant refugee said...

I am sure that there is a word for such self-induced ritualistic torture.

Shannon said...

Titania - I have to admit...I closed out June by purchasing one last red dress.

Refugee - care to come up with it?

Titania said...

Well, in your honor, just bought a bunch of clothes online (including the aforementioned red dress)

Anonymous said...

Good one on Self Improvement and it helps a lot.

Karim - Positive thinking

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