Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Robots and Naked Chicks

I am supremely nice, or, quite possibly, my life is empty and dull. Either way, I wound up going to Artomatic twice on Saturday to accommodate the schedules of my friends. No matter, though. After a cumulative seven hours of looking, I saw less than half of the works on display. So I'll be going a few more times.

Bearing in mind I know nothing about art, and even less about artists, here are a few impressions I had:

This year, people mostly painted naked chicks and robots. Last year, people mostly painted naked chicks and space aliens. I wonder when robots became cooler than aliens.

Speaking of naked chicks, it would be nice if more of these works had been done by people who knew, and perhaps even liked, women. I spent much of my evening contemplating walls and walls of uncomfortable, contorted, sad-looking naked chicks, nodding sagely, and saying, "So, tell me about your mother." The finest tableau was on the second floor, a believable scene of two bored-looking naked women hanging out by a gate. Really, that's totally what my girlfriends and I do when we hang out. We strip down and wait for the mail.


Incidentally, if you stand in front of a whole bunch of naked people paintings and laugh hysterically, people *will* stare at you. Best was when a bunch of backwards-capped frat boy types joined me, attempted to ogle the naked chicks, then, when I started heckling, joined in.

Mobiles are really, really cool...and, moreover, I made one in a free class on Saturday afternoon. It even matched my dress! I ran into the artist on my second visit, and he was really very nice -so go check out his forest of mobiles on the eighth floor.

Somehow, I've turned into the sort of person who hates dreams. Specifically, I hate the ridiculous things that privileged white people dream of. One photo exhibit included a 'life list' of each subject's top five wishes. The wish lists always included travelling somewhere outrageously expensive, becoming famous thanks to the efforts of others, opening a homeless shelter (or other noblesse oblige-y aim), or "becoming fluent in one of the languages I speak." What a tiresome group. I think if I saw them at a party, I'd run right back out the door.


I take that back...one guy's dream? "Meet Heather Locklear." I could totally party with that guy. I imagine we would sit in a corner and mock the aims of others.



In the comments, dream of something outrageously bourgeois.

20 comments:

Patty Duke said...

To swim with sharks. Privileged peoples' are usully stupid also.

Malnurtured Snay said...

Woohoo, naked chick robots!

Shannon said...

Patty - But only if you can swim with sharks somewhere really expensive.

Snay - Is that your dream? Naked chick robots?

[F]oxymoron said...

Twice? That's awesome... did you see the B&W, nekkid photos of woman in the mountains?

Regarding dreams... I once had my own pimped out tank.

lacochran said...

Can I meet Heather Locklear someplace really expensive? Okay, the truth is I have no desire to meet Heather Locklear. I'm sure she's a lovely person but, um, it's not a dream of mine. What's wrong with me?

Shannon said...

Foxy - No, I didn't see the naked mountain chicks...so it looks like I'll have to go again!

Lacochran - Just so long as you want to chat with Heather Locklear in one of the languages you speak, you'll be fine.

HP said...

I dunno. Having exhibited at Artomatic in the past I can assure you that hanging the fruits of your creative labor is somewhat intimidating.

Titania said...

I think Wall-E make the shift from ET to robots, but who knows. Vacations in Fiji, or are really expensive Alaska cruise!

Anonymous said...

" it would be nice if more of these works had been done by people who knew, and perhaps even liked, women"

I think that's a pretty fair request.

Shannon said...

HP - Oh, I can only imagine. Still -- the cumulative effect of row after row of depressed-looking naked chicks was disheartening.

Titania - Wall*E? I can believe that would kick off a robot trend. I wonder what next year will be.

Anon - Thanks! Maybe next year there will be row after row of HAPPY naked women. But not like that. Ew.

Tina said...

My bourgeois dream - take my children extreme camping / dog sledding across Siberia in winter so they can learn about my son's "roots". Of course we will all have learned to converse in Russian.

bh said...

I have two young boys. My dream is an uninterrupted nap on a rainy Sunday from 12 to 2:30. That way I'm not missing a nice day. Seriously.

Dave said...

Like BH, I also have young boys and like BH, I also dream of sleeping past 6:00 AM. Dream of sleep, ironic that.

Maybe even a leisurely brunch that does not involve Poptarts.

Shannon said...

Tina - They'll all be fluent in Russian, in fact!

bh - Hell, I don't even have kids, and I don't think I get to nap for that long!

Dave - But...Poptarts are glorious!

Dmbosstone said...

Wait so you say you hate dreams as in you don't like people's ambitions... I thought you meant you don't like to dream at night. I have weird dreams at night and I don't often like them.

Dmbosstone said...

Btw congrats on the Express mention!

Shannon said...

Dmbosstone - Thanks! I like that they lasered in on the "my life is empty and dull" part. At least I'm no longer a pervo or an alcoholic, though.

Nishal said...

You are right about robots. It's all about robots this year. Who doesn't love robots? The "Draw A Robot" crowd-sourcing art exhibit on the 9th floor of Artomatic has seen a non-stop stream of people with smiles on their human faces while drawing robots. The first two art pieces made from robots drawn by the Artomatic crowd will be available this week. RobotDisorder.com

f.B said...

I have no idea why my comment from yesterday was marked "anonymous." Someone is stealing my identity.

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