Important Lessons from Last Weekend

By now, we all know that Nissan Pavilion sucks. So let's talk about the other things I learned last weekend, all of which involve ideas so terrible that I just had to be a part of them:

• I have very amusing friends (NSFW)



• When fellow partygoers go outside for a smoke break, sometimes they don't mean the porch. Sometimes, they mean the roof. Of a large apartment complex.



• Sometimes, getting to that roof will involve climbing through a small window.



• If the window is too high, sometimes your friends will hoist you by your elbows. This will cause hideous damage to your knees.



• Standing on a roof in a rainstorm will get you wet.



• If you sit down in a puddle, you'll get wetter.



• Jeans don't dry out, instead, they get more and more damp, and that dampness will cling to your butt like a soggy barnacle.



• Never combine a 22-year-old's birthday party with open flame of any kind.

Anyone else learn anything good?