Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Mrs. Spitzer and the Default Settings of Powerful Pants
I didn’t watch the news conference. I've seen it all before. I didn’t need to see the same scene play out as it has a thousand times. Political scandal, complete with cliché-ridden non-apology and late show wee-wee jokes, while Tammy Wynette provides the cultural soundtrack. Stand by your man while the whole world gawps.
I’m not too interested in the Governor, because I think we all know that power corrupts. Eventually up is down, down is up, and powerful men forget that pants should have a default setting of up around the waist and not down around the ankles.
I’m more intrigued by Mrs. Spitzer. A man she chose to give her life to humiliates her, endangers her health, permanently screws up her kids, and spends thousands of dollars of her family’s money. And she stood right there next to him for the world to see, as I’m sure he and his advisors begged her to.
That’s an interesting question for the governor and his advisors. Did you really have to have her there at the news conference? This woman is clearly in shock, and it’s disgusting of you to take advantage of that and nudge her into that news conference. I doubt she had a chance to think it through, and went of her own free will. And it didn’t do you much good, anyway. I don’t think anyone watches those press conferences and thinks, “His wife still loves him, so he must not be so bad.” I think we all get just a bit angrier from watching the wife endure yet another public slap to the face.
On the other hand, I can’t pretend to know what’s going on in her mind. I’m not her. So I can’t say I would have done things differently or that I’d have been able to just walk away. I think it’s impossible to say, “I sure as hell wouldn’t be up there.” What do we know? Marriage is a very complicated thing, especially when kids and a public career are involved. What do we know about the inner workings of their marriage? Maybe she always knew about the hooker and they’re just staying together until their kids go to college. I doubt it, but it’s possible.
But I do know what I wish had happened. I wish that press conference had played out very differently. I wish she’d looked over, shrugged, and clocked him but good. I wish she’d pantsed him or given him a wedgie. I wish she’d broken in and said, “And the worst part of all? He’s got SUCH a tiny penis.” I wish she’d looked on in disgust and shock, and simply walked away. In that case, her silence would have spoken volumes. Instead, her silence served as endorsement.
What do YOU wish Mrs. Spitzer had done?