Monday, March 17, 2008

Aging Disgracefully at the Bob Mould Show

Many things depress me. War. Hunger. Old Yeller. But, most of all, I get depressed when I see some emo boy with spiky hair and skinny jeans, pushing a stroller. Sweetie, by spawning, you have given up any obligation to coolness. It's time to trade in those Diesels for some Dockers and fire up the minivan.

What does this have to do with Saturday's Bob Mould show? Not much of anything. Except I bet the emo stroller guy's brother was the one who tried to stagedive.

If you're like me and got into Sugar in high school, you're over 30. If you're a Husker Du person, you, like, built the Pyramids and Jesus owes you a quarter. So most of the crowd was pretty well old. Someone even brought their kid. Most of us stood around, bobbed our heads, or did that white-person-at-the-rock-show sway. One guy tried to start a mosh pit, and by the end of the show had perfected a dance move that sort of looked like a prairie dog trying to climb a ladder. He almost got punched once or twice, but for the most part the crowd wasn't up for a rumble.

But you want to hear about the stagediving. Right. Some guy in a green shirt launched himself onto the stage and then right into the audience. First of all, I wasn't aware that it was still 1993. Who stagedives any more? Second, I can't believe I saw some dude leap off a stage into a sea of gray hairs and bald scalps. Where did he think he was, in the swimming pool scene from Cocoon? It was more of a stage bellyflop, because nobody was in good enough shape to catch him. I'm pretty sure he hit the floor, and that it probably hurt.

Other than that, the show was pretty uneventful. Doors at 6:30, out the door by 10:00. As we left the club, I turned to Tim and said, "What should we do now?" "Go home," he replied.

So we did, to drink hot cocoa and listen to Will Shatner sing "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds." See, Stagediver Guy, THAT's how you age gracefully.

PS - the show itself? Awesome.

In the comments, tell me about the weirdest thing you ever saw at a rock show.


Hey Pretty said...

The weirdest thing I have ever seen at a concert was Badly Drawn Boy drunkenly mumbling Pogues songs into the mic for three hours seemingly unaware that he was performing on stage. Total waste of my (then) non-profit assistant money (read: dirt poor). I still haven't forgiven him.

lemmonex said...

I remember the first time I saw someone talk on a cell at a concert and I thought that was horrible...and now? Par for the course.

Anonymous said...

i was at a show where some schmuck took a swing at a bouncer in front of the the middle of a song, the lead singer stopped the show, jumped off the stage, kicked the shit out of the punch-throwing schmuck, jumped back on stage and picked up right where the song left off...amazing

the band, ashamed to say, was candlebox...stop judging me, the show was free and it was the early/mid 90s...STOP JUDGING ME!!!!

Shannon said...

HP, not quite as awesome as the time I saw Ryan Adams drunkenly cover Black Flag, but that's definitely up there.

Lemmonex, I've become desensitized to that as well. My current show peeve are the people who show up at the last minute then muscle their way up to the front. You want a good spot? Get there when the doors open like civilized people.

I Have Thoughts, wow. Jeez. Who opened for them, Collective Soul?

Anonymous said... i can't get that damn "heavan let your light shine down" song out of my head...thanks alot...i will now bang my head off my cubicle wall

Kristen S. said...

I saw a small kid being catapulted by larger biker types through the audience at a Live show at Bender. He landed on my friend's head.

Then there was myself at about 27 years old wearing a satin jacket and safari hat at a Duran Duran show around 1997. About 12 years too late.

Shannon said...

i have thoughts, I'm picturing a severed head bouncing all around a cubicle like a rapidly deflating helium balloon. Collective Soul has that effect on people.

Kristen, while I occasionally have the urge to throw children (especially at other children), I don't think I'd actually go through with it.

Tina said...

went to an out door music festival a few years back and was dismayed ot find one of the acts what teeny bopper one hit wonder Hanson. My ears have never recovered from the shrill squealing. Oh know - I'm having a flash back - must go pour acid in my ears to lessen the pain.