Friday, January 11, 2008

Wedding Trends 2008: Fritter Away Your Future

I'm not anti-marriage (despite the evidence to the contrary). I do, however, find marriage mania and mega-weddings bizarre and stupid. Case in point: the gloriously over the top Top Wedding Trends 2008.

Spending gobs and gobs of money will never go out of style. Can't choose a dress? Buy two, spend twice as much! And, "Event designers and brides alike are teaming up to create showstopping floral arrangements, such as those seen during the days of Marie Antoinette." Because absurd opulence worked so well for ol' Marie. Hire a sommelier! Or have your guests mix their own champagne cocktails!

But what do you do with yourself, once the 80's cover band plays its last song, your all-white centerpieces are scooped up by greedy guests, and you hang up both of your luxurious eco-pricy wedding gowns? Why, you go "honeymoon hopping" so you can spend twice or three times as much as you'd spend on a regular honeymoon!

Millions of people have been getting married for untold millenia, so it's a waste of time to make it your super-duper extra special day that nobody else will ever experience. Say your vows and go out for a pizza.

My prediction for Wedding Trends 2009: Take a stack of $50 bills, and a stack of $100 bills. Throw a lighted match onto each, see which burns faster!

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