I have now been single for a little over 14 hours. It's for the best and I feel OK. Or this is that deceptive feeling of post-breakup goodwill, which will crash sometime over the weekend and leave me a self-pitying mess.
Either way, it's been making me think about how I deal with breakups in general. There are two main schools of thought. The first are the wallowers. They turn inward, and mark each breakup with ice cream, red wine, DVDs and sleeping in. Then there are the people who get busy, pack their calendars, and move on in a Brave Little Toaster sort of way.
I'm a "get busy" kind of girl. Every breakup has pushed me forward in some way. Most of the time, they lead me to study harder, work harder, be a better person, or even just reorganize the closets. I pack my calendar with discount martini nights, dinner parties and karaoke. I'm grateful for the jerks I dated in high school, because I would have never gotten into Carolina without them. And I'm grateful for the breakups that pushed me to change my hair or take up a new hobby. And I'm grateful I'm divorced, because I go into relationships with the idea that the worst has already happened and that the risks aren't such a big deal. I figure a failed relationship isn't a failure if I learned something.
Unfortunately, one thing is blocking me from packing my calendar: I'm sick. I've had a miserable cold for the last six days. So I can't really go out, and I've had to experiment with wallowing. So far I've watched three episodes of My So-Called Life back-to-back and eaten frosting right out of the container. Tonight I might send myself flowers and order pizza.
But wallowing is dangerous for me. It's already induced two fits of ohmyGodI'm31andsingleanddivorcedanddon'thavearealjobandtheholidaysarecreepinguponme. So, does anyone have any helpful survival tips? Combination cold/breakup remedies are especially welcome.
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7 comments:
I've always liked DayQuil for blasting away cold symptoms. I take a shot of that in the morning and my head is dried out and my brain somewhat tweaked within an hour. One word of caution, a bi-polar friend of mine tried it once and it triggered a mini manic episode. A coincidence, perhaps, but disconcerting just the same.
I'm not sure about breakup advice. Maybe if you watch a few movies about screwed-up relationships (like Single White Female or Fatal Attraction) you'll almost be glad to be single.
Nice Brave Little Toaster reference. That movie is so twisted (but in a good way).
ill second the dayquil.. and add netflix ... and a highspeed internet connection... that combo can get me through just about anything!!!
and sometimes... writing about it helps..
xoxo
Thanks! I don't want to write too much, since he stops by here on occasion. I'd rather be single than be in a relationship that doesn't work, so I'll definitely be ok.
But, then again, it's raining and gross and I have a cold and my boyfriend and I broke up. Wah!
hot shower, comfy clothes, mac n cheese and a stupid dvd like super troopers... and you'll be ok!
Jack Daniels! Sheesh! If you want to get all pretentious, you can make that JD into a hot toddy by heating it up w/some honey & lemon.
When I had a bad break up, my friends made me go rowing with them at Fletcher's. How is rowing upriver on the stinky Potomac a curative, I ask?
I guess I'm kind of a wallowing gal.
Rowing? Seriously? Hard physical labor is not soothing!
Best cold remedy - Irish Whiskey Punch: In a rocks glass pour 1.5 - 2 shots of good Irish whiskey (Jameson's is my personal fav), fill with hot water (boiling like from a tea kettle), one tablespoon of sugar, 3 whole cloves, and a lemon wedge. I stick the cloves in the lemon wedge so as not to swallow the damn things. Administer this connocotion as frequently as you like. Administer enough of it often enough and the whole breakup wallowing will disappear as well... The troubles won;t be gone but teh way you'll be feeling....who cares? Cheers!
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