Power Point to the Rescue!

I just got back from a ten-day government training course, which licenses me to, among other things: 1. Start home-based Internet businesses 2. Inform people whether or not they may bring their pets in an evacuation 3. Distinguish between the varying types of Power Point presentations.

If anything, this conference cemented my hatred of Power Point. Why prepare a coherent, intelligent speech when you can play with ClipArt and bullet points? I spent way too much time being read to off a Power Point. In fact, here are my (progressively less coherent) notes from one particular guest session speaker:

• Why do all cartoon people on slides look angry?
• Buy bread crumbs.
• I'm sweating like a pig. Maybe it's hot flashes. We've been sitting here for 20 years, and now I'm going through menopause. Jesus. Hot flashes at 28.
• Am I the only person not learning anything? Oh, wait, the person next to me is drawing an enormous spiral doodle.
• If it were physically possible to die of boredom, I would have done so twice already.
• If fluency in English is a requirement of my job, why am I being read to?

I have to admit the training wasn't all bad. In fact, much of it was very good. I met people with the same job as me from all over the world. If I ever drop by Laos or Turkmenistan, I have friends to look up. I even got a certificate on high-quality paper.

I went out every single night, saw friends, ate untold amounts of Thai food, bought a year's supply of long-sleeve t-shirts, stocked up on Altoids and liquid soap, drank Starbucks coffee every day, and shook off some of the dreariness of Sarajevo. And that's worth a few Power Points.

PS- Sarajevo's airport had reopened by the time I returned yesterday. I didn't, unfortunately, notice any Velcro on the runway.