Friday, October 16, 2009

The End, My Friends

Well, it's the end of the week, the end of my awesomeness, and the last two guest posts. Enjoy!

Hammer imagines I'd watch Hee-Haw with his grandma, which not only rhymes, but might be one of the sweetest things anyone's said to me in a while:

You know, I don't let just anybody get in MAH TRUK, much less insist they do so, but Shannon settled right in like my old Ford was custom-built for her. The hound dogs took to her immediately, and the fact that she's on the petite side just means we get to haul an extra cooler of beer up front. You don't need to have dropped out of the management certificate program at NOVA Community College to know that what you got right there is a win-win, I tell you whut.

When she wasn't telling us young 'uns to simmer down so she could watch Hee-Haw in peace, my grandma was always fond of saying, "Now Hammer, you make sure you surround yourself with good people." Although she never met Shannon, I'm sure she'd approve of our association. Grandma wouldn't know a blog from a bag of Fritos, but she knows that your 500th anything is a pretty big deal. I can see it now... "Good day!" she'd exclaim, listening patiently to Shannon try to explain what the hell a blog was and why a person would write one for so long - under their real name no less - and then she'd start to drift a bit, perk back up after a while, and say, "Shannon, do you think there are any stations showing Hee Haw tonight?"

And you know what? Even though there ain't nobody showing Hee Haw anymore except The Playaz, Shannon would actually make an honest effort to scroll through the listings and check. You never know, stranger things have happened. In fact, stranger things do happen. To Shannon. All the time. And because she writes every bit as well as she improvises, we're able to share in these experiences and exploits from the comfort of our own homes and offices.

It's not as fun as hanging out with her in person, but your odds of ending up on an episode of C.O.P.S. are a hell of a lot lower.

Meanwhile, J credits me with e-pimpage:

Shannon's blog is filled with things I'd like to say, but didn't think of first. But more importantly, it's a focal point for discussion. And a segue to socialization.When you read DSJ, you come face-to-face with so many of life's absurdities and strange coincidences. And incompetent Krispy Kreme clerks.When you meet DSJ, you find that there is an amazing ball of charm who will always look out for you, throws fantastic parties, and shares stories of goulash at gas stations on the Croatian-Hungarian border. Last but not not least, she's also the finest e-pimp DC has to offer :)

Thanks everyone for participating! Come back next week for my top decorating peeves, why I get paranoid so much, and a recap of whatever weird thing happens to me over the weekend.


Brando said...

I am sure this is not the end of awesomeness, just the beginning of a new chapter--"Awesome--How It All Began".

[F]oxymoron said...

So it's settled... DSJ is where you go if you're looking for a quality e-pimp or a quality e-high.

Shannon, keep moving that product!

Shannon said...

Brando: I was born at a very young age, and it was AWESOME.

Foxy - I'm passing the savings on to you!

Brett said...

Is it appropriate to use your comment space to give a shout-out to Hammer? Because that MAH TRUCK line makes me giggle everytime.

Hammer said...

Two things:

First, 'twas an honor indeed to pen some remarks for this storied corner of the internet. I thank her for the opportunity and will buy her a beer as big asBarry Bonds' head.

Secondly, MAH TRUK isn't supposed to make women giggle, it's supposed to make them swoon. I am a failure. Perhaps I should trade MAH TRUK for a car.

bh said...


I'll just say your blog is one of my favorite's, and you've forced me to lie about inappropriate laughter to coworkers on more than one occasion.