Friday, August 07, 2009

The Real Reason My Mom Always Told Me to Wear Good Underwear

It has nothing to do with traffic accidents. Instead, it's based on the daily accident of being me.

Wednesday night, I was strolling along K Street, Gucci Gulch, Land of the Lost Lobbyist, when a woman on a SmartBike wheeled up and hissed something in my ear. "Check....your....dressssss."

And then, loud enough for the dudes chilling outside the strip club to hear, "Did you hear me? Check. Your! Dress!"

I paused to note her words, and the unusual breeziness of Washington in August. Oh, huh. Wait. Maybe that's what she was talking about.

A cursory examination showed that the lining of my dress had gotten caught in my underwear, offering the entirety of K Street a glorious and fairly unobstructed view of my ass.

Also, a block or two along, two well turned-out, handsome young men asked me for directions, and addressed me as "Ma'am."
Lessons Learned: moms are always right, and it's far better to flash your ass than be an old lady.


Malnurtured Snay said...

Do women on smart bikes routinely impersonate Lord Voldemort?

Tina said...

ok, Bikini, granny drawers or thong?

Shannon said...

Snay - Yes. Yes they do.

Tina - Boyshorts. Thank the sweet baby Jesus I don't wear thongs.

Brando said...

I'm guessing most of the folks getting the view assumed it was a new fashion statement. These days women are wearing shirts for dresses!

Vive la difference!

kelsi said...

what about being an old lady who flashes her ass? this is the future i see for myself.

Titania said...

Hey, if you are going to show something, at least you are showing something good

Shannon said...

Brando - That's right, it was a fashionable flashing! Take that, prudes.

kelsi - I'm picturing a very risque version of the Golden Girls.

Titania - Indeed! It's one of my finest assets.

Dmbosstone said...

Flashing Ass- not just for celebs anymore.

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