Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Helpless Like a Newborn Kitten

One of my least appealing qualities is my tendency to turn into a complete and utter crybaby when I'm sick.

It's ridiculous, really. I turn as helpless as a newborn kitten, but not nearly half as cute. I loll and mewl and complain, even if there's no one around to hear me.
If I'm home alone, I refuse to do any task that might make me feel better. Why? Because most of those tasks also involve getting out of bed. Glass of water? Nah, the fridge is to far away. See a doctor? Nope, because if I can get all the way across town to the doctor, I may as well go to work. My snot-filled brain runs circuits of its own pessimism, and I get mired in self-pity.

Yesterday, however, was the lowest of the low. I refused to go to work, and instead sent a series of increasingly incoherent text messages to my colleagues. I refused to get out of bed, and instead spent my day sleeping or staring into space. Hey, this flu thing is serious business.

Worst of all, when I noticed that the fitted sheet was no longer tucked into the mattress, I didn't get up to fix it. Nope. I flopped about on the bed, like a hooked northern pike, struggling mightily to fix the fitted sheet while I was still lying on top of it. The small, not-sick portion of my brain watched the proceedings with bemused detachment. Who makes a bed while they're still IN BED? Me. That's who.

In the comments, tell me the silliest thing you do when you're sick.

13 comments:

Jo said...

I was sick for 3 days over the weekend and acted like a spoiled child. Nick treats me like an invalid and I take full advantage of it...and I eat everything in sight with the excuse that those cookies really are making me feel better!

lacochran said...

I don't just whine. I whine like a 3 year old. Lots of ups and downs in THE VOICE, LIKE a siRENNNNNnnnn!

Hope you feel better soon!

Dmbosstone said...

Not so silly but you have to watch The Price Is Right when you are home sick.

Brando said...

I like to spend sick days bundled up in bed, downing hot soup, tea and water, free of all distractions. Sucks to be sick but being sick is the body's way of saying "easy there, pardner!" And the body sounds like John Wayne.

Shannon said...

Jo - I hear cookies are PACKED with Vitamin C.

lacochran - Thanks! I just got back from teh doctor, and it turned out to be a sinus infection.

Dmbosstone - Especially if they play the Yodeling Man game. That was the best part about being sick.

Brando - My body sounds like James Dean. "You're tearing me APART!"

f.B said...

I guess I get cat-like when sick; like a dying alleycat who drags himself to wait out the pain in a corner somewhere. I'm reclusive when sick.

Dratski! said...

The bit about you fighting your sheet was the funniest thing I've read in a long time .. I totally relate, but I do that even when I'm not sick!

Shannon said...

f.B - Just so long as you don't drag yourself out to a field somewhere to die.

Dratski - You know, I think EVERYONE does that. Like, if I just jiggle a little to the left, it'll work! REally!

Brett said...

Ugh, today I contracted some sort of food poisoning/allergic reaction which made my eyelid blow up and unable to keep down food (hot right?) When I'm sick I always must have ginger ale, daytime tv, and lots of meds. I also usually call my mom.

FoggyDew said...

I hibernate, like a bear on demerol. The world around me could go up in flames and I wouldn't notice. Last time I was sick I think I slept 20 or so hours in a single day.

Alice said...

you know that "man cold" video on youtube? that's basically me. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FUNCTION WHEN I HAVE A HEEEAADAAAAAACHE??? sniffle.

Shannon said...

Brett - Puffy eyes are WAY hot.

Foggy - I get dosed on Nyquil and try to sleep through the worst of it.

Alice - Never seen the video, but it sounds awesome.

bh said...

I'm irritable when I'm sick and tend to snap at people. I'll take medicine, go to the docter, rest, do all the right stuff, hell, I can still play dad and run errands, I just get kinda of mean.