I wonder if my (highly variable, largely downward) career trajectory might not be completely due to outside forces. Maybe I have a little, tiny bit to do with it. Take, as one example, the following phone conversation with my staffing agency handler.Me: Good afternoon, Shannon speaking.
Handler: Hi, just wanted to let you know your job site will be closed from Christmas to New Year's.
Me: Thanks for the heads up, my supervisor had mentioned something about that.
Handler: So we'll try to find intermittent work for you that week.
Me: Great! Just please don't schedule me for New Year's Day. I'll be hungover. (sound of colleagues cackling in the background)
Handler: ...
Me: Have a great weekend! I'm off to happy hour.
Then, a one-woman version of the sort of fights couples get in on their cab ride home from parties:
Shannon's Brain: Hey, Shannon's Mouth, please don't ever take a call while assembling a coatrack with your bare hands, on Friday, fifteen minutes before closing time. Also, could you please consult me once in a while before activating?
Shannon's Mouth (to colleagues): Hey, guys, check it out...it's beer o' clock!
18 comments:
See, I would have said this and not had a moment's pause about it. Maybe this is why MY career is in the tank.
Lem - well, maybe we ought to start our own business, for drunkies.
If someone on my staff had said such a thing to me, I would have...
promoted them of course.
I want in on the beer-friendly gig. I'll be in charge of shoes, body emissions, and bitching out the slackers. SWEET
Refugee - If I worked for you, I'd be the Senior Vice President of Beer.
LiLu - You can be my executive assistant at our imaginary drinking corporation.
By the way Shannon, everyone here thought that was hilarious.
Brett - That's a relief. (For the uninitiated - Brett works for the staffing company that represents me.)
Honesty is rarely rewarded in the corporate world. Makes me sad. Makes me angry. Makes me want a(nother) drink...
Awesome.
I too struggle with the fact that my mouth ignores virtually every command given by my brain.
Lacochran - Then come work at the imaginary drinking corporation! We offer generous imaginary salaries.
BH - My mouth and brain get in this hilarious pissy slapfights.
I'm in!
I can get in on that drunkie business? I've got beer, er, I mean seed money.
haha maybe we'll open a new alcoholic branch....
Lacochran - SCORE!
Katherine - You'd make a lousy silent partner, but sure.
Brett - RAWK.
That kind of comment should get you MORE work, not less.
Arjewtino - Next up? When someone asks where the stamps are, "Oh, top left drawer, next to the flask."
Beer o'clock is my favorite time of the day, and if you ladies start your own business where Beer O'Clock is a recognized part of the work day and St. Patrick's Day is company sponsored, please consider me for a position.
Oh my God, if they'd let us have Beer O'Clock in the news biz, our newscasts would be MUCH better.
Once, a very long time ago at another station when I was clearly insane, I said we should start having a 4:20 p.m. newscast with all the crazy packages that are normally stuck at the end. I still think that's a valid way to re-invigorate local news ratings. Who else is at home to watch TV at that time of day?
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