Me: Good afternoon, Shannon speaking.
Handler: Hi, just wanted to let you know your job site will be closed from Christmas to New Year's.
Me: Thanks for the heads up, my supervisor had mentioned something about that.
Handler: So we'll try to find intermittent work for you that week.
Me: Great! Just please don't schedule me for New Year's Day. I'll be hungover. (sound of colleagues cackling in the background)
Me: Have a great weekend! I'm off to happy hour.
Then, a one-woman version of the sort of fights couples get in on their cab ride home from parties:
Shannon's Brain: Hey, Shannon's Mouth, please don't ever take a call while assembling a coatrack with your bare hands, on Friday, fifteen minutes before closing time. Also, could you please consult me once in a while before activating?
Shannon's Mouth (to colleagues): Hey, guys, check it out...it's beer o' clock!