Monday, December 21, 2009

I Swear My Snow Story is Totally Interesting and Unique


Well, if there's one thing I know for sure, it's this: going to a wedding, in a blizzard, in a faux SUV (a two-wheel drive truck? the hell?) is the height of foolishness. It's also pretty awesome.

The adventure began in Woodley Park, and continued in the two different places we stalled out on the way to the service. Then we pulled up to the church to discover the lot hadn't been plowed. At all. We parked in a promising-looking snowbank and went inside.

The wedding itself was beautiful...except for the mounds of snow we could see sliding off the roof in person-sized clumps, like powdery shadows of impending doom. At that point, we determined that, short of sled dogs or stealing my ex-car (a Subaru), or hitching sled dogs to my ex-car, there was just no way we were getting across the river to the reception.

A good thing, too, as the 1.5 mile journey back to the Metro was fraught with humiliation and hilarious peril. We stalled out. We got stuck. And that was before we'd even left the church. We got a tow out of the church lot by a wedding guest with ropes and the biggest truck I have ever seen. (I'm from Woodbridge. That's saying a LOT.)

I would feel guilty about getting towed, however, my years in the South have taught me a valuable lesson: anyone with a truck that big LIVES for this sort of thing. In North Carolina, if you have car trouble, at least three large men in a pickup will come along and help you out, faster than you could get AAA or a pizza. They love it - in fact, I am convinced those same three guys gave me six separate jump starts in college, and are the state's automotive guardian angels.

We got stuck in the snow enough times that it became faintly embarrassing...but no worries, there were always friendly neighbors to help push us out. We also discovered that, in the absence of traffic and law enforcement (I saw just one cop car all day), it was simplest to just run every light we possibly could to avoid losing momentum. Once we hit Connecticut Avenue, we were home free.

Once we made it safely back to my apartment, it was time to make macaroni and cheese, mix up a few mint juleps, and enjoy the weather.

How did you spend your snowpocalypse?

13 comments:

Jamie said...

It is true. The entire reason we own four-wheel-drive trucks is to drive around in extremely dangerous conditions. Just because we can.

Unfortunately, the only thing I got to do was give a ride to a friend after he'd waited more than half an hour for the metro, which apparently was not coming. I didn't have any opportunities to pull people out of snow banks. But I did spend a couple hours driving around the city in a foot of snow, it was awesome.

Shannon said...

Jamie - Darnit! You could have given us a ride to the reception in the back of your truck! And maybe given the bride and groom a lift as well - when we left, their limo was pretty much buried in snow and the driver had asked the guy with the huge truck to hang out just in case they needed a tow.

FoggyDew said...

As per my usual during crappy weather, I headed out with my camera to take pictures of the end of the world. Or what could have been the end of the world if the snow had kept going just a little longer.

Then I packed it in, made some chili and waited out the snow. Apparently, not everyone is lucky enough to live on a major street that got cleared by Saturday night, so like all the others who labor for our Uncle Sam, I'm lazing about today.

lustyreader said...

ohmigosh yes YES re: guys with trucks in North Carolina. I went to school down there and was driving with a friend when we got stuck in a ditch. In no time at all a nice camo wearing man in a pickup truck covered in the appropriate decals such as ducks unlimited, bass pro shops, jesus fish, confederate flag, etc came and towed us out. i think he also had radar/sonar/radio equipment on there as there were multiple antennae on his truck also. fascinating!

Jamie said...

.. and Truck Nutz, I hope!!

Brett said...

I do hope your boss appreciates you. sounds like you have a pretty awesome boyfriend too... too bad he's already married...

Alex said...

I used to take my car out in snowstorms and go spinning around the city (literally spinning -- I'd try to force it into skids). Amazing I never hit anything. One time on 16th Street I was doing this and a bunch of people grabbed onto my bumper, and I pulled them down the street as they tried their hand at car-skiing. Good times! This time though, I couldn't even get the car our of its space, let alone down the street -- it's stuck til spring.

ps - every other guy in New England has a truck like this too, usually with the added accessory of a snow plow mounted on front.

Shannon said...

Foggy - I had a snow day Monday as well...I spent it doing productive things, like sleeping and staring into space.

Lusty - Multiple antennae? That means he had a CB! I have a CB as well...it's like a redneck internet.

Brett- Well, we still have to work out that shared custody arrangement...

Alex - Swap out that plow for a gun rack, and you're back in the south.

suicide_blond said...

i trudged alll the way across the street to the movies...like a wussy...:-)
xoxo

bh said...

Trapped in a house with two kids during a snow storm with powder to fine to roll, pack, or sled on.

You can imagine the tears, yelling, and insanity that ensued. And that was just me.

Dmbosstone said...

I trekked it by foot during the day then I dared take my car out. Too bad there weren't any shovels at Home Depot.

Anonymous said...

Amazing as always

Anonymous said...

hmm..finding a dating site free of fake accounts are hard to find