I've slept with probably 100 people. Ew, not like that.What I mean is that when you factor in roommates, slumber parties, overnight guests and so forth, I have probably been in the vicinity of 100 sleeping people. Whenever I have a party, I usually just slide air mattresses under people as they conk out. And then I perform experiments on them.
OK, but not really. But I do like to stare at people while they sleep. I consider it a matter of scientific curiousity, and not a manifestation of complete and utter creepiness. I pay attention to things like who snores, who sprawls, who mumbles and who doesn't appear to sleep at all. I have a friend who will fall asleep on her side, and wake up in the exact same position eight hours later. I have another friend I dubbed the Starfish Sleeper, who manages to splay his arms and legs in perfect starfish formation and take up an amazing amount of room.
But in the dull glow of a hungover Sunday, I saw the strangest sleeper of all. A Nosferatu Sleeper. As of 3 am, he had fallen asleep flat on his back, arms crossed over his chest. When I checked on him several hours later, he was still in the exact same position.
But in the dull glow of a hungover Sunday, I saw the strangest sleeper of all. A Nosferatu Sleeper. As of 3 am, he had fallen asleep flat on his back, arms crossed over his chest. When I checked on him several hours later, he was still in the exact same position.
Naturally, I threw crucifixes at his head and doused him in holy water and garlic.
Then I felt like a bit of a jerk...as it turns out, he was sleeping in that position due to the close quarters and mixed genders, and he considered it ungallant to accidentally wake up to a handful of girl-parts.
In the comments, tell me if Nosferatu Sleeping is the new vanguard of chivalry, above and beyond walking on the outside of the sidewalk. Or tell me about your weird sleeping habits.
13 comments:
He was of course dressed in black and with pale white skin--this added to the vampire legend!
/Should have held a mirror up to his face to see if he has a reflection...
Brando - I'd forgotten all about the fact he fell asleep in a dark ensemble, including dress slacks. We should have given him a cape!
i've been trying out an experiment of sorts on myself for the past two months. i've draped my pillows with sheepskin hides (only $25 at ikea) and have found two benefits:
1. I don't toss and turn as much. in fact i find myself, like your friend, on the same side as i started my slumber. Sometimes I end up on the mirror image that I began but overall my tossing and turning has greatly diminished.
2. My hair doesn't stick up as much when I wake up. Perhaps the sheepskin provides a soft cushion of air for my hair to rest on and minimizes the bedhead effect.
The sheepskins provide a cozy, primeval, snuggly feeling. perhaps this is how the expression 'counting sheep' came about?
Note to self: Never sleep at Shannon's again.
IsmeSon - Never in a million years would I have thought of sheepskin pillowcases. I do try to use high thread count pillowcases, so my hair doesn't break as much.
Foggy - Why not? I promise I won't dunk your hand in a cup of cold water.
"wake up to a handful of girl-parts."
Isn't that more Dr. Frankenstein?
I've been known to sleep like that. I'll fall asleep on my side, but will end up on my back with my ankles crossed and fingers intertwined.
I'll sometimes wake up with my hands behind my head, as if I'm being held up or just relaxing on the beach.
The husband's arms and hands kind of spasm at times. There've been times when he's startled me with a weak punch or nudge to the shoulder. If he starts going for my head, we're buying a king size bed.
I think the funniest part is that you like to take note of people's sleeping habits. (I feel so VIOLATED!)
I don't move around when I sleep (at least not in the past 8.5 years since I had rods attached to my spine), but at least I tend to sleep on my side...
I agree, though -- I thought it was pretty funny when I woke up and saw him sleeping like that.
Lacochran - Depends on whether he was planning on building a whole new girl...
Ibid - If your toes were intertwined, now THAT would be creepy.
WordNerd - Ah, the twitch! I do that one, too, usually right as I'm falling asleep.
Zandria - Just be glad I don't videotape any more...
He was worried about handfuls of girl-parts, but not guy-parts?
Ok, I am never sleeping at Shannon's. That said, I get really small when I sleep, and don't move until I wake up most of the times. Ah! when I sleep "with" somebody, when actually sleeping, I can't stand being touched and I have to sleep on the side closest to the door. I know, I am weird. Ok, too much information
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