Where were you on Friday at 7:50 am? Were you riding an Orange Line train to Vienna? If so, you just might be the jerk who swiped my cellphone and SmarTrip.
To be specific, the phone was Red Samsung T39 slider-cheapie #2. Red Samsung T39 slider-cheapie #1 came to a disastrous end in San Francisco, where it was dropped, trampled, and swept into the trash. I had high hopes and wild dreams for #2, which I have now transferred to Red Samsung T39 Cheapie #3, which was delivered today. My transitory cellphone affection is similar to the way parents assume their next-youngest child won't eat paste or open a crack-flavored lemonade stand.
To be very specific, the SmarTrip was serial number 0834293597579something-or-other. It was precious to me, well, as precious as any piece of plastic that is not an IUD, counterfeit Romanian driver's license, or American Express Plutonium Card.
I'm sure I'll have many stories to tell about my fun encounters with Customer Service, WMATA, the phone insurance goons and more, but in the interest of time and waning enthusiasm, I instead share my cure for a very, very bad day:
Bourbon-Spiked Honey-Mulled Cider
(adapted from the Five Ingredient Slow Cooker Cookbook)
3 quarts apple juice
2 cinnamon sticks, broken
1 tsp whole cloves
1 tsp allspice
1/2 cup honey
Maker's Mark (optional for some, mandatory for me)
Pour apple juice into a slow cooker. Place spices in a cheesecloth (tied with kitchen string) or a tea infuser and add to slow cooker. Stir in honey and cinnamon. Cook on LOW for 5 hours or HIGH for 2.5 hours.
Optional Step: Stir in a splash (or three) of bourbon into each mug just before serving. Continue until all drinkers are in a relaxed and horizontal state.
10 comments:
I remember a time when you refused, on principle, to get a cell phone.
Throwing hot cider in the face of the culprit might be more satisfying but that does sound tasty. Way to make lemonades out of sucky lemons.
That's my train, but WAAAAAAY before my ass get's out the door.
Dave - I remember having principles! Whoa.
Lacochran - When life hands you one bad apple spoils the bunch, make spiked cider!
BH - Please provide a more convincing alibi.
I wonder if the thief got all our mischievious text messages.
Totally lame! I had my card swiped a week ago. Sorry to hear this.
Brando - The "mean texts my friends sent" post is coming later this week!
justjp - Well, it was pretty stressful when it first happened, but not the end of hte world or anything.
I don't know if you remember the saga of my puppy chewing through three cell phones, along with every electrical plug he could find and half my shoe collection, but I feel your pain profoundly. My Blackberry got significantly downgraded in the process to a T-Mobile Dash with a cracked screen and teeth marks all over.
And thanks for the recipe. Since I'll be spending four days with my mother (and you should remember how joyful that will be) alcohol would greatly help the experience. Along with Xanax.
Why does this remind me of the Terminator Franchise? "Red Samsung T39 slider-cheapie #1": The little terminator who...(too early to think of witty comment).
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