Monday, May 11, 2009

Hair Crowdsourcing: The Results

I’ve been known to do some very awesome things to my hair color. There was that time in ninth grade I let my friend Molly give me a Manic Panic purple stripe. Or, there was that time in college I decided jet black would totally work on me…only to nearly jump out of my skin every time my hair would fall into my face (I thought it was a coordinated spider assault).

After a late rally for red, I decided to split the difference and go auburn. I also decided the easiest path was to hit the toiletries section of the Chinablock Bed Bath & Beyond. On Friday. After happy hour. And to take Zipcode with me and allow her to pick out the shade.

Well, really, it was a collaborative effort. We hovered around some Feria boxes, and a clerk suggested that we try her shade. As I’ve always said, anyone in a smock possesses the wisdom of Solomon. So we grabbed the box and drank our way down to Arlington.

Saturday, I decided to dye first and drink later. Wise, no?

I began to dig out my equipment: the box of dye. Olive oil (it gets hair color off skin). A 1995 counterfeit hfsTival t-shirt, complete with typos. And then I decided to look at the instructions.

I liked all the ones in all caps and boldface. CAREFULLY OPEN FERIA COLOR BOOSTER TUBE. USE CAUTION WHEN OPENING THE BOOSTER TUBE. DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BOOSTER TUBE. (Note: the contents of the booster tube were an arresting shade of menstrual red.)

After about an hour of smearing gooey dye into my hair, and then letting the color develop, it was time to rinse. Normally, you rinse out, then condition, and you’re done.

Not with this stuff. It’s always nice when your hair coloring has a half-life of a thousand years. I had to use the Rinsing Shampoo, which also included lots of capital letters and boldface. IT IS IMPORTANT TO SHAMPOO TWICE AFTER RINSING OFF MIXTURE TO AVOID STAINING ON TOWELS OR CLOTHING. Hrm. It took three passes with the shampoo, and about twenty minutes in the shower, to get all the dye out.

As for the results, well, they’re interesting. I don't post photos of myself, so you'll have to use your imaginations. It turned out exactly like the color on the box…the box of animal crackers, that is. I’ve dubbed this shade Thermonuclear Auburn, and it tends to glow preternaturally in the sunlight. It’s sort of fun, really.

Though, maybe next time I'll consult a professional. Or, at least, take a Breathalyzer with me to the drugstore.

14 comments:

Lemmonex said...

Despite dying my own hair for ages, I still surprise myself with the results sometimes. I ma far too black at the tips and reddish at the roots now. Oh, well.

Fearless in Toronto said...

I will never forget the day that my hairdresser and I decided to go "really red". I was standing in a checkout line after my appointment, and the clerk took one look at my head and said (in the driest tone imaginable):

"Well, that's not a colour found in nature, now is it?"

The red was bleeding out of my hair for about two days.

Shannon said...

Lem - I'm redder at the roots than I am at the tips. I can't tell if that's really my hair, or just the light playing tricks o n me.

Fearless - It's a color totally found in nature! Well, if The Day After had been a documentary, then sure.

Just A Girl said...

Shiiiit, before I did black, my sister used Provana (super intense, really bright colors) on the crown of my head and darker purpley red on the rest. My hair was PINK. I loved it.

So I would probably love your hair. I have zero problem with bright or over the top. It's hair - it should be fun.

Titania said...

Hmmm, I suspect your anonymity has probably being compromised now... Did you decide yet whether you like it?

I remember once I decided to dye my hair black. The first reaction I had was my microecon T.A. in Grad School asking "what the hell did you do to your hair?"

Shannon said...

JAG - I agree! I'm kind of enjoying being burgundy in the sunlight.

Titania - I'm amused by my hair, I'm not sure if that's the same thing as liking it.

I put my name on this blog, so it's not like I'm anonymous. I just don't post photos of myself.

Dmbosstone said...

Congrats in finding your new hair color- I'll have to see it in person sometimes.

zipcode the color master said...

i think its awesome, i should let you pick out my lowlights for saturday eh?

Shannon said...

Dmbosstone - Actually, you don't need to. This hair is visible from space.

Zipcode Bater - Actually, we should let the clerk at Bed Bath and Beyond pick them out. Always listen to anyone in a smock.

Fiery Nuggets said...

As tempting as it is to do the drugstore bottle thing, professional is the way to go with hair color.

Tina said...

Oh - can't you get someone to take a close up fo just the hair? Like the back of your head or something. I wanna see the thermonuclear auburn!!! Please, please, please.

I did the black hair home dye thing once - no one recognized me - like seriously I sat across from my aunt and uncle for almost an hour at a restaurant with the family for dinner - they thought I was my brother's new girlfriend. My uncle asked my mom when Phil got into Goth chicks.

Shannon said...

Fiery - No way. I'm all about home hair dye. And home dentistry, too.

Tina - That might be possible -- anybody got a digital camera and some time to kill?

f.B said...

So you didn't go with the frosted tips after we talked at happy hour last week?

I think you probably made the right choice. Probably.

Shannon said...

f.B. - I thought about it, but 'frosted tips' made me think of cereal. And I HATE cereal.