Thursday, February 14, 2008

Story Time: Valentine's Edition

Many, many years ago, in the year 2000, I was a workaholic.

I had a job in political consulting (cha-cha-cha, soooo D.C.) I know that everyone says they work too many hours, because busy is the adult version of "popular." To that, I say: I kept a blanket and pillow under my desk for the nights I had to sleep over. So chew on that while I continue my tale.

Most of my attempts at dating were a disaster. I had no free time, and the little time I had was spent drinking discount Shiner Bocks at Asylum with my sister, or taking random road trips to South of the Border with my colleagues.

I met a guy, at the Red Lion. (Hard to believe, but once upon a time I was young enough to meet boys at the Red Lion.) We started to date. It was tricky, because I worked all the time and he was busy with his burgeoning substance abuse issues. Then, a few weeks later, Valentine's Day came. I had worked 18 of the previous 24 hours, and wasn't in the mood to go out. But, foolishly, I went anyway.

We headed over to a cute little French restaurant. I ordered the salmon. As we ate our dinner at the so-cute-you-could-die little table, I began to feel drowsy. Then I fell asleep. Face-first into my plate. Oh, and I drooled. And there were flecks of pink salmon meat in my hair. I'm sure it was quite attractive.

That was it for that relationship.

I stayed friends with the guy for a while. We did fun stuff, like scrape body paint off his back from an art project he'd participated in. He got sober, too. Over a year later, he asked me out for dinner and a play. Halfway through the evening, he said, "Do you know why I asked you out on a date tonight?"

My response: "Because you've been sober for a year and your sponsor said you could date?"

And that was really it for that relationship.

3 comments:

Ibid said...

That's what happened to almost every relationship I've attempted since coming to DC. Not the alcoholism and salmon thing... the other thing. She works 18 hour days 6 days a week and never has time to date. You can't date like that. You just have to move in with someone cute and hope it works.

Mike H said...

Are you the one who broke it off after falling asleep on your dinner? That hardly seems like a deal-breaker to me.

Great story, though. I like the line about his sponsor saying he could date. It's so hard to find someone who appreciates a good sense of humor. One time a woman I was dating (exclusively, I thought) called after a dinner date with some other guy. She said that the whole evening, she could only think about me and did I know what that meant? To which I replied, "that we're free to see other people?"

At least I thought it was funny.

Shannon said...

Ibid, sometimes the circles you run in really matter - if you're mostly meeting lawyers and Hill types, they'll work long hours. Try cruising for secretaries, we're mostly 9-to-5ers.

Mike, the guy lost interest in me after I fell asleep at dinner. Or maybe he thought I thought he was boring. Either way, it sort of fizzled at that point. And your story is HILARIOUS.