Thursday, February 14, 2008

Story Time: Valentine's Edition

Many, many years ago, in the year 2000, I was a workaholic.

I had a job in political consulting (cha-cha-cha, soooo D.C.) I know that everyone says they work too many hours, because busy is the adult version of "popular." To that, I say: I kept a blanket and pillow under my desk for the nights I had to sleep over. So chew on that while I continue my tale.

Most of my attempts at dating were a disaster. I had no free time, and the little time I had was spent drinking discount Shiner Bocks at Asylum with my sister, or taking random road trips to South of the Border with my colleagues.

I met a guy, at the Red Lion. (Hard to believe, but once upon a time I was young enough to meet boys at the Red Lion.) We started to date. It was tricky, because I worked all the time and he was busy with his burgeoning substance abuse issues. Then, a few weeks later, Valentine's Day came. I had worked 18 of the previous 24 hours, and wasn't in the mood to go out. But, foolishly, I went anyway.

We headed over to a cute little French restaurant. I ordered the salmon. As we ate our dinner at the so-cute-you-could-die little table, I began to feel drowsy. Then I fell asleep. Face-first into my plate. Oh, and I drooled. And there were flecks of pink salmon meat in my hair. I'm sure it was quite attractive.

That was it for that relationship.

I stayed friends with the guy for a while. We did fun stuff, like scrape body paint off his back from an art project he'd participated in. He got sober, too. Over a year later, he asked me out for dinner and a play. Halfway through the evening, he said, "Do you know why I asked you out on a date tonight?"

My response: "Because you've been sober for a year and your sponsor said you could date?"

And that was really it for that relationship.

3 comments:

Ibid said...

That's what happened to almost every relationship I've attempted since coming to DC. Not the alcoholism and salmon thing... the other thing. She works 18 hour days 6 days a week and never has time to date. You can't date like that. You just have to move in with someone cute and hope it works.

Mike said...

Are you the one who broke it off after falling asleep on your dinner? That hardly seems like a deal-breaker to me.

Great story, though. I like the line about his sponsor saying he could date. It's so hard to find someone who appreciates a good sense of humor. One time a woman I was dating (exclusively, I thought) called after a dinner date with some other guy. She said that the whole evening, she could only think about me and did I know what that meant? To which I replied, "that we're free to see other people?"

At least I thought it was funny.

Shannon said...

Ibid, sometimes the circles you run in really matter - if you're mostly meeting lawyers and Hill types, they'll work long hours. Try cruising for secretaries, we're mostly 9-to-5ers.

Mike, the guy lost interest in me after I fell asleep at dinner. Or maybe he thought I thought he was boring. Either way, it sort of fizzled at that point. And your story is HILARIOUS.