Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Yes, But at Least My Bangs Are of Average Size
Me (responding to Facebook request): Hey! You look well. What have you been up to since high school?
New Facebook Friend: Wow! You look exactly the same! You haven't changed a bit.
Note: In high school, I had a bad perm, an ass like the inside of a spoon, and dressed, er, creatively. As in, I WORE RAINBOW LACE DOC MARTENS AND CARRIED AN ANIMAL CRACKERS BOX AS A PURSE.
Conclusion: If a glance in the mirror so easily becomes a field trip into 1993, it's time for a makeover. It's time to get vacuously, unforgiveably, hilariously vain. Who wants to help me out?