Thursday, January 21, 2010

And Now for Something Completely Gizzardy

Boy, it's sure been a lot of Big Life Stuff around here lately. I'm sinking under the weight of my own profundity, here on my mountain of brilliance, above the valley that is the petty hum of everyday life. I am, like, so much better than all of you.

I'm getting a little sick of myself. This isn't a Big Life Stuff blog...we have Wil Wheaton for that. So, in no particular order, here are my most frivolous, petty thoughts of the last 24 hours:

1. Honking doesn't get you home any faster, so knock it the @@$*%(%! off.
2. Inebriated Facebooking is a hazard not because you might say something embarrassing (let's face it - even my sober status updates are embarrassing), but because undoubtedly someone from your 9th grade English class will come along and correct your grammar.
3. You're comfortably sitting inside your nice warm car. It won't kill you to wait a moment for me to get across the street. Also? It's the law.
4. When reading Yelp reviews, do you find yourself horning in on the worst review of the bunch? Like, if one person out of a thousand finds a fist-sized cockroach at the Ritz, does that make the Ritz a bad hotel? Or does it mean some prankster is going around planting cockroaches?
5. I understand that men are visual and all, but I don't get what's alluring about pornography crotch-shots. It's all gizzards and McNuggets to me.

In the comments, tell me something random.

10 comments:

Brett said...

Because of gizzards and the like, I will NEVER clean out a turkey or chicken. OH my god. That picture made me gag, for reals.

Uh..random thought... everyone in my iphone contacts is listed by first *and* last name unless they are family or a guy I just met and am deciding whether to delete or not.

Shannon said...

Brett - I don't delete people, I just rename them. "You Can Do Better," for instance.

FoggyDew said...

re: No. 5: It's cause you have one, it's no longer special to you.

Shannon said...

Foggy - I guarantee I do not have turkey giblets anywhere on my person. Unless I'm secretly part turkey.

Titania said...

yeah, that picture kinda "moved" me too. Anyhoo, remember to plant your garlic so you'll keep vampires away (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC0Rg8REt6A)

Just A Girl said...

Newgrounds.com (I think) actually has a game where you have to figure out if a picture is raw meat or an up close vagina. I'm a girl and I STILL missed a couple. Not that I don't think vaginas are lovely, but no one needs to be right up in it with a camera. Yuck.

Random thought of the day: OkCupid, while still being a clusterfuck of stupidity at times, is infinitely better than Plenty Of Fish. That site is just...ugh.

Shannon said...

Titania - You don't find gizzards delicious?

JAG - I was on OKCupid and met some of the strangest men of my life on there!

Lemon Gloria said...

Sometimes honking is very satisfying. In the same way that yelling profanity at another driver when they're being a complete tool and it makes your head want to explode is satisfying, even though in that case they can't hear you.

Anonymous said...
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Alice said...

my original comment was wiped out by the horror of that gizzard visual, OH MY GOD