Tag, I'm It

Hey Pretty was good enough to tag me on this, so I have to tell all my invisible Internet friends eight facts about myself. Here we go:

1. I don’t like being photographed. This has nothing to do with vanity, though I will admit I always look pretty dorky in pictures. I find the act of being photographed weird and intrusive. Only my friends are allowed to take pictures of me, and only if they make it quick. If the person gets everyone to pose, then stands there and endlessly fiddles with the camera, I start to scowl. The scowl gets bigger and bigger the longer it takes, until I eventually look like Sean Penn being assaulted by the paparazzi.
2. My love for the underdog extends to inanimate objects. I like black licorice and Necco wafers simply because no one else likes them. When I play Monopoly, I like to be the shoe. I feel sorry for the shoe, because it’s been there since the 1930s and all anyone ever wants to be is the racing car. I even get kind of bummed out when I think about the sad, lonely shoe.
3. I didn’t know left from right until I got a driver’s license. Even now, I have to imagine myself driving a car when I give directions.
4. You know that posture improvement trick where you walk in a straight line, in heels, while balancing a book on your head? I can do that. Blindfolded.
5. I have no sense of spatial relations. Parking takes me an eternity. I bump into walls on a routine basis. I’m also enormously clumsy and accident prone. I have fallen off of, bumped into, or tripped over every curb in the Washington, D.C. area. I once fell off a horse that was standing still. I threw myself down a bowling lane…backwards. I got so many stitches as a child that my forehead looks a bit like Frankenstein’s. My mom still hasn’t forgiven me for the time I took out the neighbor’s garden gnome with a skateboard.
6. I have three passports, none of which are valid. My Australian passport is expired. My diplomatic passport? Well, I was supposed to turn that in over a year ago and I still haven’t gotten around to it. My tourist passport still has my married name on it (incidentally, long-since nonexistent Shannon Johnson still gets all sorts of junk mail).
7. I am very impulsive. Approximately 90% of my decisions in life were made based on what seemed like a good idea at the time. Of those, maybe about a third of them really were a good idea. The rest? Well, sometimes you have to learn stuff the hard way. I don’t have any regrets (aside from a few ill-advised hairstyles, and maybe that time I tried to climb a tree in a dominatrix outfit).
8. It really bugs me that I’ve never been a Missed Connection on Craigslist, nor an I Saw You in CityPaper. C’mon, D.C. , take notice of me already!

I have to pass along the tag now, so...Mike West, Nate and Victoria. Hit it.