So, nineteen million seasons of The Apprentice just wasn't enough. Now Donald Trump has decided that what we really need is Lady and the Tramp. Here's the pertinent info:
Already Trump and crew have put out a casting call, seeking women between 18 and 30 who "love to party and are full of attitude." The premise of the show, the casting call explains, is to take these "rude and crude" party girls who don't care what others think about them and, with proper etiquette training, turn them into "modern-day princesses."
So, let's rob these women of their individuality and moxie, and turn them into cookie-cutter pretty pretty princesses! As a former party girl who still doesn't care what people think of me, uh, no thanks.
There are just so many things wrong with this. Let's begin with the title. Lady and the Tramp? What, was Madonna/Whore Complex: The TV Show already taken? Why can a woman only be one or the other? And who cares who's a tramp anymore? Can't men also be tramps? Also, I would have a total blast hanging with some "rude and crude party girls."
I wonder what they mean by "modern-day princesses." I think I got over whatever princess complex I may have had by the age of 12. I wonder why princess fantasies even persist at all. They're everywhere. High-ticket weddings stand out in particular. Every time I hear anyone wedding-affiliated refer to a wedding as "special day," I want to gag. You're alive. You live in a country with a freely elected legislature and forty flavors of Pop-Tarts. Every day is special.
And can we identify some modern-day princesses? The Girls Gone Wild? (Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton?)
Or maybe this is some sort of Girls Gone Wild backlash butterfly effect. But instead of a butterfly flapping its wings and causing a monsoon in the Amazon, Britney's immaculately groomed girl parts have flapped their wings and given us crap reality TV.
But maybe this isn't about the princess fantasy or America fastening its collective chastity belt. Maybe it's the lure of the makeover. Makeovers are a powerful thing. Fashion magazines, reality TV, and even Scientology can credit their success to the power of the makeover. Be someone completely new! Deny your past! All you need is a little eyeliner and some etiquette classes. Or to spend a bunch of money to find out that our planet is merely a repository for alien carcasses.
Ugh. This is why I never watch TV. Sometimes, in the insanity and inanity of the pop culture world, it's best to simply opt out.