My Fun-o-Meter has been running very low this week. Between a vicious cold and a hectic week at work, I have not done anything social since Sunday. As I normally go out an average of five or six nights a week, this is having a negative effect on my usual sunny disposition.
For me, momentum is the key to happiness. I have an overwhelming need to be scheduled, structured, and busy. Blank time just unleashes the crazy.
What is “the crazy,” you ask? Oh, those usual neuroses I’m usually able to tamp down or find amusing. This is the stuff most of my friends already know and find endearing. I have to break all snack foods in half before eating them. I don’t call people, instead, I wear my friends down with text messages until they call me. I cannot sleep facing a wall, I cannot sit with my back to a door, and I cannot open bills while sitting down.
I don’t think any of those items go beyond the usual level of crazy. I think everyone has a well-edited selection of neuroses and quirks. However, blank time has caused a whole new slew of nuttiness.
Examples from this week: I trimmed my own bangs. With toenail scissors and a measuring tape. I ironed jeans. I had a neurotic girly freakout about my less-than-gorgeous feet. I became convinced that I was mutating because my left boob was larger than the right one (as it turns out, I was just slouching!). I re-reorganized my closet. I made a list of lists I needed to make.
So, what’s a normal level of crazy? What’s a tolerable level? I think the key is knowing how much crazy is fun, and how much crazy is just, well, crazy. Then you need to figure out how to avoid crazy-crazy and get back to fun-crazy. For me, the trick is to stay busy. Boredom is dangerous, so I’m off to pack my calendar.
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