Monday, November 16, 2009

You're Nobody 'Til You're in the New York Times

Alternate title: Good Lord, Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me I Look Like Mary Poppins?

Yes, that's me. In the Times, like somebody respectable and newsworthy. And it's all thanks to my self-styled status as an etiquette vigilante.

My Sunday was pretty thrilling, what with the well-wishers, the shiny photo (taken by Andrew Councill, who was extraordinarily lovely), and the holycowI'mintheNewYorkTIMES!!!!! that managed to leak through the haze of the world's most brutal red wine hangover.

Except that I'm captioned as "It's polite to prowl." Eeeeessssshhhhh. And there's the whole cringeworthy thing where the reporter left out the repeated assertions I made that adults should not scold other adults, that lecturing others simply compounds the rudeness, and that I don't go around telling people how to act. I simply politely and calmly ask people to stop doing whatever it is that's so annoying, because most people mean well but are just oblivious to the world around them. I don't call people at home to enact petty revenge, like another person profiled in the article. (Reading that made me cringe like you would NOT believe.)

That said, what shall we do with my newfound fame as a schoolmarmy busybody scold? Market myself as an etiquette maven? Correct the posture of strangers with a ruler? Wear a "As Seen in the New York Times" t-shirt everywhere I go? Try to get into VIP rooms by showing a clip of the article and saying, "Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal"?

188 comments:

Lemmonex said...

You havea rrived! And shown your face on the internet!

Congrats.

Brando said...

It is time for Emily Post and Miss Manners to learn there's a new sherrif in town!

Shannon said...

Lemmonex - You mean I have a FACE? Spooky.

Brando - I'm sure they already know, and have expressed gently worded disdain for my inability to figure out what fork goes with what.

lacochran said...

So impressive! You rock!

Jessica said...

Very, very nice! Though... I think an advice/etiquette column/blog feature might suit you fairly well.

Shannon said...

Lacochran - THanks!

Dagny - Thanks! If anybody wants to send in questions (scannerjockey@gmail.com) I'll be happy to answer them.

Malnurtured Snay said...

Okay, first: AWESOME! HIGH FIVE!

Second: are you blocking pedestrian access from that crosswalk? That's kind of ironic.

J said...

Totally awesome! I bought a hard copy just in case the internet self-destructs tomorrow!

Shannon said...

Snay - Indeed I am! Which made me feel incredibly awkward - even more so when people kept doing double-takes. The photographer said people were trying to figure out if I'm famous.

J - Thanks!

Titania said...

You look way too cute in that picture, Mary Poppins or not. There, I said it.

You need to make "Disaffected Scanner Jockey t-shirts" to travel the world. I'll take one to Chile, promise.

Just A Girl said...

I love that picture. It's adorable. I definitely think the "I'm kind of a big deal" thing is the way to go.

brad said...

So, so great. Congrats.

And it's incredible how willingly the crowd seemed to split around you in the photo. Honestly, I would've expected a rude trample. Double win.

Anonymous said...

What a great, great photo. I don't think you look like Mary Poppins at all (not that that would be a bad thing).

Shannon said...

Titania - Awesome. People will probably think they say, "disinfected" and that you work for a cleaning service.

JAG - But if I'm kind of a big deal, does that mean people have to fetch my coffee? That could get weird.

brad - What you didn't see is that the photographer basically blockaded the sidewalk. I felt really guilty about it, and kept shooting people these really pathetic, apologetic looks. Then they'd stare at me and wonder if I'm famous or unhinged or something.

Frecks - Thanks! The photographer was really lovely.

Alex said...

That's really cool! It's hard to do a media interview and get at least slightly misrepresented, but I would say the coolness of the story outweighs that -- just own your newfound global schoolmarm reputation!

And I love the photo, you as this island of focused calm in a sea of blurred people rushing past. Clever shot by that photog.

Jodi said...

Enjoy the notoriety! We need more polite people willing to speak up. Glad to discover your blog, and I look forward to reading it.

FoggyDew said...

If I remember correctly, Mary Poppins was "Practically perfect in every way." So, being compared to Mary ain't a bad thing. Even though you are commiting a sin that, to me, is even worse than standing left: blocking the side walk. But you get a pass since I would have done it too to get my pic in the NYT.

Alan Stamm said...

Bonus from reading Doug Quenqua's article: It led me here, where I'll definitely return now that I've sampled more posts than anticipated. (Oh my, look at the time already . . . Where has this afternoon gone?)

So you're in my reader feeder now, Shannon.

And how gracious of you (naturally) to welcome advice/etiquette Qs, an invitation that would be . . . well, rude to ignore:

1.) Do you refer to Douglas Quenqua as "the reporter" to signal -- politely -- that his (or his editors') incomplete description of your restrained vigilantism is cringeworthy?

2.) Do I impolitely overreach in Line 1 by calling him Doug, though we haven't met? (Yet.)

3.) How long, on average, need one post comments here before it's OK to call you Shan? (I'm patient.)

Oh yes, did I mention I also adore the photo? (More Juliette Lewis than Jamie Lee.)

-- Your new Detroit fan

bh said...

Now I KNOW I nearly walked over you at McPherson Square about a year ago.

Sorry. My bad.

Lori said...

Nice to meet you Shannon! I just found your site from the Times - and being a Scanner Jockey myself, I know your perspective on life is particuarly relevant ;) Thanks for writing!

Oh, and my favorite un-official title is "Director of First Impressions". It makes me feel all bloated with self-importance until they tell me to get a coffee, MILK, not CREAM, pronto thanks... sigh.

Shannon said...

Alex - The funny part is that I'm not a very calm person. He kept wanting to do these side view, me looking serious shots, but I thought it looked like I was trying to take on Big Oil or something.

Jodi - Thank you and welcome!

Foggy - I swear the photographer made me do it! I kept agonizing over blocking the sidewalk.

Alan - Welcome! As a housewarming gift, here are your answers:

1.) Do you refer to Douglas Quenqua as "the reporter" to signal -- politely -- that his (or his editors') incomplete description of your restrained vigilantism is cringeworthy?

Nope - just the name "quenqua" is so much fun to say that it sidetracks me. quenqua! quenqua!

2.) Do I impolitely overreach in Line 1 by calling him Doug, though we haven't met? (Yet.)

Possibly, but I think some first names invite informality, such as Doug, Joe, and Kiki. If he was Cleveland Monmouth Quenqua III, it might be a different case.

3.) How long, on average, need one post comments here before it's OK to call you Shan? (I'm patient.)

About 10 comments. Or three really funny ones.

BH - Entirely possible, I used to work around there.

Lori - Welcome! Director of First Impressions? That's a real title? If not, I'm totally co-opting it.

Anonymous said...

What a great resource!

Anonymous said...

buy hydrocodone by phone buy hydrocodone online us - generic hydrocodone m358

Anonymous said...

valium online overnight valium online canada no prescription - cheap valium uk

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol ultram tramadol hcl side effects 50mg - tramadol addiction usa

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol generic for tramadol hcl - can i buy tramadol over the counter

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online no prescription cod tramadol buy cheap no prescription - 3 tramadol high

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol hcl generic ultram - tramadol for dogs 50 mg

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tablets buy tramadol cod overnight delivery - tramadol withdrawal symptoms

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol without rx order tramadol 100mg - does generic tramadol look like

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol buy tramadol us pharmacy - tramadol 319 high

Anonymous said...

ativan drug ativan and alcohol blackout - ativan dosage wiki

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod fedex withdrawal from tramadol addiction - tramadol 50 mg compared to percocet

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol dosage webmd - tramadol 93 58 high

Anonymous said...

buy lorazepam online ativan children - ativan and alcohol bluelight

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol next day tramadol hcl usage - tramadol hcl picture

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online teva klonopin wafers - klonopin r34

Anonymous said...

buy cheap ativan ativan and alcohol withdrawl - ativan to get high

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol no rx tramadol legal high - buy tramadol bluelight

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin klonopin side effects stomach - klonopin to ativan conversion

Anonymous said...

cheap ambien no prescription ambien drug information - ambien date drug

Anonymous said...

buy cheap ambien generic ambien 93 73 - ambien better than zolpidem

Anonymous said...

tramadol buy but tramadol online uk - tramadol hcl medication

Anonymous said...

buy ativan online prozac ativan and alcohol - ativan dosage levels

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin under tongue - what does 2mg klonopin look like

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol no prescription tramadol 50mg get you high - tramadol generic

Anonymous said...

soma pills buy soma online ship to florida - what is soma medication used for

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cheap online online apotheke holland tramadol - tramadol dosage sizes

Anonymous said...

buy ativan ativan for norco withdrawal - buying ativan online no prescription

Anonymous said...

generic ambien ambien and weed - zolpidem vs ambien

Anonymous said...

where to buy tramadol tramadol percocet high - tramadol online australia

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol india tramadol dosage 150 mg - buy-tramadol-online.org

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma birthday discount - buy saizen somatropin

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol for purchase - buy tramadol american express

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online no prescription ambien side effects aggression - ambien restorative sleep

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol hcl half life - buy tramadol online us pharmacy

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy tramadol online new zealand - order tramadol online no prescription overnight

Anonymous said...

generic ativan ativan vs xanax - ativan dosage dogs

Anonymous said...

buy soma 350mg soma san diego serve alcohol - buy soma pills

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online can you buy tramadol dominican republic - tramadol nsaid

Anonymous said...

cheap klonopin online klonopin 4mg - gi side effects klonopin

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol online fedex next day - buy tramadol no prescription mastercard

Anonymous said...

buy clonazepam online klonopin for flight anxiety - klonopin dosage bluelight

Anonymous said...

tramadol online overnight tramadol 50mg with zoloft - how many tramadol 50 mg to get high

Anonymous said...

ambien online results ambien overdose - ambien and alcohol hallucinations

Anonymous said...

is it safe to order viagra online viagra 80 off - buy genuine viagra online canada

Anonymous said...

ambien without prescriptions ambien hypnotic drug - buy ambien online forum

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online reviews buy viagra online overnight shipping - tosh.0 viagra gay challenge

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online canada buy generic viagra cialis levitra - buy viagra online mastercard

Anonymous said...

ambien zolpidem ambien generic 5mg - drug interactions ambien trazadone

Anonymous said...

buy viagra cialis online pharmacy to get viagra - generic viagra online us pharmacy

Anonymous said...

generic ambien ambien pill - ambien 5mg reviews

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy 200 mg tramadol online - tramadol y alcohol

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma bras where to buy - soma bras san francisco

Anonymous said...

buy clonazepam can take 2mg klonopin - klonopin dosage for social anxiety

Anonymous said...

buy viagra cheap order generic viagra online canada - viagra max dosage

Anonymous said...

tramadol online order tramadol line - buy tramadol cheap online no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online ambien side effects pregnant - 20 mg ambien sleep

Anonymous said...

online soma soma buy online - order soma from usa

Anonymous said...

klonopin price 2mg klonopin equal - 2 mg klonopin and alcohol

Anonymous said...

viagra drug where i can buy viagra in delhi - viagra and ecstacy

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol rx order tramadol online cod - tramadol hcl + kidney

Anonymous said...

ambien online ambien dosage alcohol - online ambien pharmacy

Anonymous said...

soma online buy soma puzzle - generic soma markings

Anonymous said...

buy viagra professional viagra dosage weight - viagra for women contraindications

Anonymous said...

buy somas watch deadly soma 2 online - dosage for soma muscle relaxer

Anonymous said...

can you buy viagra at walmart buy viagra online lloyds - viagra without ed

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online without a prescription tramadol hcl dosage for adults - tramadol saturday delivery no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online buy viagra over counter canada - viagra online prescription uk

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod overnight tramadol overdose in canine - discount coupons for tramadol

Anonymous said...

cialis online buy cialis no prescription overnight - generic once daily cialis

Anonymous said...

buy viagra cheap online cheap viagra paypal payment - viagra 4 hour warning

Anonymous said...

can you buy viagra online viagra 2 chainz lyrics - equivalent to viagra for women

Anonymous said...

buy somas picture of soma medication - soma 4gs

Anonymous said...

cheap sildenafil buy viagra online cheap - purchase viagra pharmacy

Anonymous said...

buy cialis usa caverta cheap cialis generic viagra - cialis price increase

Anonymous said...

buy viagra buy viagra over counter canada - legal order viagra canada

Anonymous said...

buy sildenafil viagra online overnight - viagra user reviews

Anonymous said...

buy cialis no prescription canada reviews for online cialis - cialis online lloyds pharmacy

Anonymous said...

buy viagra using paypal viagra for women generic - buy viagra online australia no prescription

Anonymous said...

propecia drug propecia results how long - propecia side effects exaggerated

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol with cod 50mg tramadol high dose - tramadol hydrochloride 50mg capsules

Anonymous said...

order tramadol overnight buy tramadol online no prescription next day delivery - tramadol 50 mg price

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online no prescription cod buy cheap tramadol cod - dosage of tramadol 50mg

Anonymous said...

buy retin-a retin a 0.1 gel - retin a micro duac

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol generic tramadol online no prescription - tramadol dosage bluelight

Anonymous said...

order propecia online finasteride no prescription - cost of propecia at costco

Anonymous said...

can you buy tramadol online legally tramadol buy 180 - tramadol hcl schedule

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol purchase tramadol cod - tramadol 50mg dosage humans

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol hcl xr 200 mg - buy tramadol cod personal check

Anonymous said...

retin a skin retin-a micro gel for hyperpigmentation - retin a cream use wrinkles

Anonymous said...

generic tramadol tramadol hcl neuropathy - buy tramadol from trusted pharmacy

Anonymous said...

retin a skin retin-a johnson and johnson review - retin a online no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol hcl nausea - order tramadol us pharmacy

Anonymous said...

buy strattera drug classification for strattera - strattera coupon savings

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg overdose of tramadol side effects - legal buy tramadol online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online cod overnight tramadol 50 mg price per pill - tramadol overdose quantity

Anonymous said...

order propecia online reviews for propecia - propecia side effects men's health

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy tramadol online in europe - tramadol dosage labrador retriever

Anonymous said...

order tramadol tramadol pain killer dosage - tramadol er 100mg

Anonymous said...

tramadol online buy tramadol online cash delivery - tramadol for dogs diarrhea

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50mg tramadol purchase online usa - tramadol hcl 50 mg tab uses

Anonymous said...

order tramadol online mastercard tramadol dosage drops - tramadol hydrochloride 50 mg ingredients

Anonymous said...

cheap generic propecia propecia online - buy propecia line

Anonymous said...

tramadol online no prescription tramadol 50 mg vs percocet - tramadol high review

Anonymous said...

buy retin-a retin a cream dry skin - retin a 1 side effects

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol mastercard buy tramadol overnight shipping - tramadol for dogs how long does it take to work

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol dosage neuropathic pain - tramadol dosage 150 mg

Anonymous said...

buy propecia propecia coupon print - much does propecia cost prescription

Anonymous said...

tramadol online no prescription cheap tramadol overnight shipping - order tramadol without

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online order tramadol cod - buy 100mg tramadol

Anonymous said...

tramadol online cod buy tramadol online us - tramadol t7

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol hcl or vicodin - tramadol online forum

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg legal buy tramadol online usa - generic brand tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol xr recreational - tramadol normal dosage

Anonymous said...

generic cialis cialis coupon discounts - buy cialis au

Anonymous said...

generic cialis low dose cialis online - cialis online pharmacy uk

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription generic viagra online pharmacy no prescription - cheap viagra suppliers

Anonymous said...

generic viagra buy viagra gold - buy viagra us sites

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cheap tramadol online no prescription - just pills order tramadol online

Anonymous said...

cialis online no prescription cialis инструкция - buy generic cialis online

Anonymous said...

generic cialis generic cialis good brand - how buy cialis online

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription viagra xanax - viagra canadian pharmacy reviews

Anonymous said...

generic viagra viagra online xlpharmacy - generic viagra+online pharmacy+no prescription

Anonymous said...

cheap viagra cialis viagra dosage comparison - is the viagra online from us safe

Anonymous said...

cialis 20mg generic cialis doesn't work - best price cialis 20mg

Anonymous said...

cheap viagra viagra buy tesco - cheap 100 mg viagra

Anonymous said...

generic viagra viagra online purchase - viagra ideal dosage

Anonymous said...

order cialis online no prescription generic cialis warning - buy real cialis no prescription

Anonymous said...

viagra cost buy viagra online cheap with no prescription - buy viagra cheap

Anonymous said...

cialis online no prescription generic cialis 200mg - cialis online de

Anonymous said...

cheap viagra can buy viagra dubai - viagra brand

Anonymous said...

generic cialis cialis online ricetta - legitimate online pharmacy cialis

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma drug usa - buy real soma online

Anonymous said...

generic tramadol buy tramadol pay with mastercard - tramadol withdrawal flu like symptoms

Anonymous said...

buy generic viagra buy viagra online paypal - viagra online authentic

Anonymous said...

buy soma online buy somatropin ip - order cheap soma online

Anonymous said...

buy cialis cialis alternative - buy cialis 10mg online

Anonymous said...

soma online soma bras houston - discount soma

Anonymous said...

buy soma online buy generic soma no prescription - cheap soma sale

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma san diego parking - buy soma online overnight delivery

Anonymous said...

cheap soma online buy soma online no rx - buy soma visa

Anonymous said...

buy retin-a retin a for acne scar - retin a cream large pores

Anonymous said...

soma online generic soma 2410 v - cheap soma

Anonymous said...

soma generic soma drug test facts - soma bra sale

Anonymous said...

soma for sale foster people soma san diego tickets - order soma next day delivery

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma street cost - soma smoothie

Anonymous said...

buy soma online buy soma online ship to florida - kind drug soma

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol hcl image - cheap tramadol no prescription overnight

Anonymous said...

buy retin a retin a micro gel hair loss - buy retin a gel usa

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50 dosage - uss cheap tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol 100mg buy tramadol online uk cheap - order tramadol no prescription cheap

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online 50mg tramadol high dose - tramadol n024

Anonymous said...

where to buy tramadol online buy tramadol cod overnight delivery - order tramadol for dogs

Anonymous said...

retin a online retin-a cream or gel - retin a ingredients

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol jaw pain - tramadol effects

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol without prescriptions high on tramadol 50 mg - tramadol hydrochloride 100 mg

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol tramadol hcl msds - tramadol dosage for 20 lb. dog

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod buy tramadol without a script - tramadol 319

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol buy tramadol medication - tramadol dosage 50 mg

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online no prescription overnight tramadol for sale - buy tramadol online with visa

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod fedex buy tramadol an 627 - buy generic tramadol no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol ultram high - tramadol 37.5 mg

Anonymous said...

legal buy tramadol online the cheapest tramadol online - buy tramadol cod saturday delivery

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol no prescription buy tramadol mastercard - tramadol 50 mg narcotic

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol 50 mg 319 - generic tramadol online

Anonymous said...

order tramadol online without prescription online pharmacy uk tramadol - tramadol hcl generic

Anonymous said...

tramadol generic nebenwirkungen von tramadol 100mg - zydol tramadol overdose