One of the most enduring maxims in life is that everybody is at least a little bit everything. Everyone’s a little bit gay, everyone’s a little bit racist, and we’re all a little bit messed up.But few of us will admit to being even a little bit geeky. Years back, I took a job as a Community Liaison Officer at an embassy. I never developed a talent for accurately describing the State Department universe to outsiders. (I also never developed a talent for correctly spelling the word, “liaison.”)
I was explaining the new job to some friends, and one of the cooler ones busted out with, “You’re like the Deanna Troi of the Embassy!” Naturally, I called him out on his geekitude – how often does someone say something so...dorky? What was worse, though, was that I immediately caught the reference.
The first truth is this: I've spent a lot of time explaining new jobs to friends.
The second truth is that I’m a geek, and so is everyone else. In my case, it's not in any sort of technologically proficient or useful way. I am convinced that gnomes inhabit my laptop and that tiny musicians live inside my stereo.
No, I am a geek in ways that will never be profitable:
I own every episode ever of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD.
I love old-school Doctor Who. I even own an awesome Tom Baker-esque scarf.
Same goes for Red Dwarf, the animated version of The Lord of the Rings, and Mutant X.
I make a lot of jokes about Vogon poetry.
I was in the gifted program throughout school, and was actually sort of honored to be there.
I played Dungeons and Dragons until a frighteningly late age (14).
I didn't have my first kiss until age 15. This, and the previous two facts, may be somehow related.
I catch about 99% of the geek references that come my way (though I’ve never seen Firefly, so those usually have to be translated).
Finally: I have ovaries, which makes the above items about 100 times sadder.
Now that I’ve let my geek flag fly, it’s your turn. Tell me something hopelessly dweeby about yourself. I promise not to laugh (well, I'll be laughing in painful recognition).
You may have immediately caught the reference (I would have as well), but would never have made it yourself - at least, not out loud.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is what makes you a geek, and not so much a nerd. A fine distinction, but an important one.
And, while I have only played D&D once, I do own every episode of Star Trek TNG on DVD.
I love you both.
ReplyDeleteI once built a seven foot tall model of Hogwarts out of Lego.
ReplyDeleteAnd I almost cried when I had to tear it down.
Dagny - Actually, I immediately thought, "Wow! That makes sense...why didn't I think of it?"
ReplyDeleteSnay - I was too old for Harry Potter fever. But I would probably still play with Legos.
I've seen every episode of The Next Generation. EVERY. To the point where I clicked on your post, saw Deanna, and immediately my hatred of her washed over me, refueled after all these years.
ReplyDeleteLiLu - I haven't seen every episode, because I gave up when Wil Wheaton left. Which is somehow even sadder than watching TNG to begin with.
ReplyDeleteI miss Red Dwarf. Haven't seen it in years. And, wow, LiLu, never in a million years would I have picked you as a Deanna-hating Trekie. Although, if she wasn't there, the show would have been better because Picard would have been forced to use the phasers a lot more often. Shoot first, ask questions of the survivors, don't worry about feelings. That should be the motto of Star Fleet.
ReplyDeleteOh, wait, totally geeked out there. Yeah, but we already knew that.
Foggy - Omigosh! Netflix has Red Dwarf! Viewing party, anyone?
ReplyDeleteGEEK MOMENT: Unlike you...I HAVE seen Firefly and...*gulp*...when it was cancelled I signed the online petition to get it back on the air. DON'T JUDGE ME!!!
ReplyDeleteI cried over way too many X-Files episodes, because, yes, I wanted to believe. I know the names of 90% of the eps (before Mulder left of course). And I had the comic books, too. Oh, and I wrote fanfic. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteAnd I still love Fox Mulder forever.
Oh and in college my roommate and I did a "totally awesome recast of Harry Potter," which included Michael Jackson as Hagrid and Angela Landsbury as the groundskeeper's cat.
ReplyDeleteNinja - DSJ is a judgment-free zone. If anything, I'm impressed. If it makes you feel any better, I went on Television Without Pity and posted rather intelligent suggestions on how to improve the last two seasons of Buffy.
ReplyDeleteBrett - The fanfic makes me love you just a little bit more. Who says you can't be girly AND a geek?
1) Marina Sirtis makes me think naughty things.
ReplyDelete2) Upon arriving a parking deck level 1, the display on the elevator says "PI". I said, "Hey! We reached the irrational floor!" They said, "That's sad, Gilahi." I said, "No, what's said is that you ALL got it."
I may be able to beat you in geek-itude. Well, at least re: Star Treck. I've not only seen all the TNG but I actually watched all the Voyager episodes too. And you MUST watch Firefly. It really is phenomenal. Hulu.com has all the episodes...
ReplyDeleteGilahi - I didn't get the "irrational floor" reference. Congratulations, you out-geeked me!
ReplyDeleteJo - I feel like the Mayor of Geektown! I'll have to Netflix it - I don't have home Internet, and, besides, I have an Asus eee. The screen is teeny even by my standards.
Yay! It's pi. pi is an irrational number. Guess you're not a math geek. So I didn't out-geek you, I just differently-geeked you.
ReplyDeleteGilahi - I'm afraid I'm not a math person. In college, I even got a D in Math 18: The History of the Thereom.
ReplyDeleteAlso, has anybody seen the giant boulder trapping Ibid and Jamie? They always come out for the geek stuff.
Oh my god. I will reveal some things I have never told you but will probably not surprise you.
ReplyDeleteI, too, own a Tom Bakeresque scarf. My mom painstakingly knitted the replica for me when I was in high school. We must compare.
I actually went to a Dr. Who "exhibit" of some kind in Bangor, Maine around that time. I saw K9!!
I will go toe to toe with you on a Hitchhiker's quote battle.
You need to watch Firefly. If you ever hear me saying something that sounds like a curse in Chinese, that's what it's from.
D&D? Come on, that's rookie stuff. I painted my own lead figurines.
Did you ever watch Farscape? Oh my. Now that is desperation in times of no Star Trek.
Finally, I am a computer programmer.
I might out-geek you. However, since as you observed you get the massive female bonus, I declare you the biggest geek in cyberspace. Except for Bill Gates.
Jamie - You may be relieved to find out my readership has dropped a bit in the last six months. Now I don't know who I love more: you for painting figurines, or Brett for writing fanfic.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'll dig out my ace in the hole: I WENT TO A RENFAIR IN COSTUME. Take that, bitches!
Finally, who's up for hitting the bars dressed as various incarnations of Doctor Who?
I love 21 Jump Street and own it all on DVD
ReplyDeleteI guess geeky isn't "geeky" to me because geeky is just normal. But at lunch today I was waiting for some people in the lobby of a restaurant. Two dweeby looking young fellas came in for lunch and after they walked away to their table, the hostess said "oh my god they totally look like dungeons and dragons players." I was bothered by her comment. I mean these guys were not a couple of hotties, but they looked happy and they looked like they were stoked to be out for a nice lunch together, and so what if they were D&D Players. If that's what makes them happy, then who cares what they do in their free time. I <3 geeks. And I am geeky because I know how to draw a heart with a < and a 3.
ReplyDeleteZip - I only have the first two seasons - never really found Grieco all that hot.
ReplyDeleteCH - I love geeks, too! There is nothing on this earth hotter than an eight-level magic-user. Especially if he's a half-elf.
Any self respecting geek is not be afraid to talk about Stargate SG-1 in a public place, and knows how to deal with people who fear the freek.
ReplyDeleteI cannot think of anything that geeky. I was treasurer of my HS choir. Does that count?
ReplyDeleteJamie - Never been a Stargate person...maybe that's the final frontier of geek for me.
ReplyDeleteLemmonex - Only if you were wearing headgear at the time.
^^^^^ Lemmonex--- non-geek alert! We must stage a raid on her sorority! Get the night vision goggles!
ReplyDeleteJamie - a blog panty raid? That's sort of awesome.
ReplyDeleteOk - i have seen every episode of the orignal Trek, every movie, every Next Gen, Deep space 9 and voyager. I also own all the Buffies and even the Angels althought hat was never as good. I love firefly - I also adored the sort lived "Space" and owned its painfully few episodes on DVD. Ilove ALL versions of LOTR animated and otherwise and have read the entire works of Tolkin more than 8 times - 8 is when I lost count. I also get the overy bonus but I lose out on the whole Dr Who thing.
ReplyDeleteHowever - if any one can point me to a reliable Dr. Who source on line I pledge to catch up while stuck in Siberia!!
ReplyDeleteI am a bicycle geek... I can speak bicycle and its parts... even do a bit of work on them . Moreover, I watch almost any big bicycle race and know their schedule on versus. Sad. On the other side, I own all the Harry Potter movies that are out, the LOTR -extended and non-extended editions- and waiting for the last Underworld to come out... and I am 37. Ouch.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea who is Dr. Who, but maybe I can blame it on not being a native speaker/completely different culture alian
In high school, I was in marching band and concert choir and on the debate team. That is a trifecta of epic proportions. And I'm not shamed.
ReplyDeleteI also have an unhealthy affection for gadgets.
Tina - We'll have to bring you over to the dark side...go on your Netflix, search for "Daleks" and pick whatever comes up first.
ReplyDeleteTitania - Oh, you are totally joining the Cult of the Who as well. Don't even try to fight it!
f.B. - I'm just impressed you restrained yourself from making a "this one time, at band camp" joke.
I had the marching, concert and jazz bands (tuba and trombone) -Model UN - academic quiz team (which was featured in the local paper) trifecta going for me. I also dabbled in debate and Odyssey of the Mind. The academic team turned out to have the most real world applications since prizes for pub trivia include free booze and t-shirts (or so I've heard...).
ReplyDeleteI still managed to look cooler than the kids who would argue about whether "Star Wars" is science fiction (there are robots and computers and space ships) or fantasy (but there's no attempt to explain how that stuff works and a huge emphasis on the magical Force).
I played Baritone and Trombone in the band and was in Chemistry Club in High School.
ReplyDeleteI love Deep Space Nine. And SG-1, but only with Richard Dean Anderson.
AND I love science documentaries. Put a NOVA on string theory on and I'm in absolute heaven.
JFo - Just so long as you didn't have Star Wars bedsheets, you're cool. Oh, wait, you DID? Ooh boy.
ReplyDeletebh - I wasn't in Chem Club, but I was on my school's equivalent of the A/V Squad.
Oh my, this is the first post I read on your blog, and I love you already. Geeky chicks are rad. I say that because I am one. :)
ReplyDeleteI not only own, but paid for, a shirt with Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, the Thing, Spiderman, and Wolverine on it. I found it in the little boys section at Walmart, but it's sort of glittery so I figured it was really meant for me. And yes, I have worn it out to a bar. I also got really hooked on Firefly even though I totally pretended not to be.
The latest dork thing I got into were all the Marvel Civil War graphic novels - my ex loved them and I made fun of him until I got addicted to them.
Sooo glad I'm not the only geek.
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