Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Yes, But at Least My Bangs Are of Average Size


Me (responding to Facebook request): Hey! You look well. What have you been up to since high school?
New Facebook Friend: Wow! You look exactly the same! You haven't changed a bit.

Note: In high school, I had a bad perm, an ass like the inside of a spoon, and dressed, er, creatively. As in, I WORE RAINBOW LACE DOC MARTENS AND CARRIED AN ANIMAL CRACKERS BOX AS A PURSE.

Conclusion: If a glance in the mirror so easily becomes a field trip into 1993, it's time for a makeover. It's time to get vacuously, unforgiveably, hilariously vain. Who wants to help me out?

11 comments:

  1. There's only one option here: go blonde.

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  2. Oooo... I think Foggy may be onto something here... but I vote RED.

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  3. Foggy, LiLu - Have already been a brunette, a blond, and a redhead. I'm like a one-woman Charlie's Angels. But maybe a lovely auburn...

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. I'm in. No matter the color.

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  7. Katherine - Purple?

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  8. darker. definitely darker.

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  9. Anonymous4:33 AM

    Different hair style? Something more professionally elegant to match your newly found permanently employed status? Ass like the outside of a spoon (went and looked at a spoon and am having a hard time figuring out what an ass that looks like the inside of a spoon looks like on a human being, but perhaps I am just visually challenged)? Change from rainbow laces to unicolor? Eat the animal crackers and go for something made of animal skins instead of crackers?

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  10. Lem - I won't look Goth?

    Jman - I like my current hairstyle (I do the retro bob thing), but maybe I'll punch up the color. As for the infamous "spoon butt," I didn't fill out until college, so my ass was so flat it was practically concave.

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  11. Yes, but we never saw you as a blonde. It'll be a whole new experience for the city.

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